Page 30 of Blinded By Forever
Killian looks calm, collected and controlled like always.
Killian wasn’t just dangerous, he was the kind of calm that came before a storm, beautiful, quiet, deadly.
“What the hell did you do?”
Killian doesn’t flinch. “I didn’t pull the trigger.”
“No, you just pulled the strings, like always.” My voice shakes with rage. “You sent him here, you knew this would happen.”
“I didn’t know he’d get ambushed-”
“You put him in the position to be ambushed.” I snap, stepping closer to him. “You knew he had a family and someone waiting for him at home. Why did you let him join you again? Why couldn’t you just turn him away and let him go?”
“I tried. But he came to me looking for a rush, a way to breathe. Hayden is the type of man that always needs action and a rush. I had what he needed.”
“No, you just needed him to do your dirty work like always. You know right from wrong Killian, we aren’t in our twenties anymore,” I say. “You have a daughter at home.” Killian glares at me. “I don’t want to bring Luna into this but I will. What happens if you weren’t able to go home to her? What would happen if you were shot and Luna had to wonder where her dad is and why her dad died? Why she doesn’t have a dad to take care of her and love her anymore?”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen-”
“But it did and I could have lost him,” I say, my eyes filling with tears. Killian’s eyes flicker to the bed before meeting my eyes again. “After everything I’ve been through Killian, I need him to keep me alive.” I point to Hayden. “Him and my kids are the only reason why I’m here. I would have never been ableto reach this point in my life if it wasn’t for Hayden. He is everything to me.”
We stand there, locked in a silent standoff while machines beep quietly behind me.
I know Killian understands what he did wrong and I know he feels empathy for Hayden because Hayden is his best friend or may be the only friend that he really has.
“You don’t get to be here right now.” Killian blinks. “I mean it, you don’t get to play the grieving friend while he’s hooked up to machines. Not when you practically handed him the fucking bullet.”
Killian’s mouth turns into a tight line. “You’re angry, I get it.”
“I almost lost the love of my life, Killian. I know you acted the same way with Reign. You should understand exactly where I’m coming from and how scared and pissed off I am.”
Killian’s jaw clenches and I notice his hands clench in a tight fists.
He nods before leaving without another word.
Sixteen
Hayden
Darkness had weight.
Not just the kind that pressed against your skin, but the kind that sat behind your ribs and stretched out until it wrapped around your spine and made it hard to breathe.
I feel like I’ve been floating in that darkness for what felt like years but then I heard her voice.
Muffled, sharp, fierce.
Jaclyn.
“I almost lost the love of my life Killian. I know you acted the same way with Reign. You should understand exactly where I’m coming from and how scared and pissed off I am.”
I knew that tone. The one she used when her heart was breaking and she couldn’t stop it from turning into anger. I heard it once, when we were in college and she was breaking up with me. She was angry but also heartbroken at the same time.
And now I’m hearing it again.
I try to move when I feel her hand touch my forehead.
A groan slips out before I can catch it and something inside my abdomen flares like fire. My whole body protests like it isn’t ready to work again but I don’t care.
