Page 10 of Blinded By Forever
I smile because I love seeing our madness and chaos, the life that Hayden and I created together when there were no arguments or issues about coming home late at night.
I walk in and he immediately turns his head to look at me. “You didn’t wake me up.”
A spark flickers in his eyes as I walk towards him. He wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to mine. “I didn’t want to. You never get to sleep in so I thought I’d take care of breakfast today.” I smile up at him. “You want pancakes, eggs, and bacon?”
“Yes.”
Once Hayden finishes cooking and I set the table putting in my units for my OMI-Pod, we all sit down together. River is in her tiny chair sitting between Hayden and I. Her face is sticky with syrup and I know for a fact she’s going to need a bath after this, she always does. Easton is arguing with Junior about some random video game that they play together.
I catch Hayden’s eyes at one point and he’s smiling while looking at our chaos. He looks happy, content, like the Hayden who wasn’t gone all the time and was more involved.
“I’m going to take the boys to school today before heading to Killian’s,” Hayden announces after the boys finish their food and leave the table. “It’ll give you some time to write while River takes her nap.” He gets up and takes both of our plates.
I smile at him. “Really?”
“Yea, you deserve some quiet time.”
That meant a lot, him taking some weight off my shoulders and taking the boys to school and picking them up. I haven’t been able to write much because of the constant overthinking I’ve been doing about Hayden. It feels good to be able to have a moment to write without the craziness happening in the background.
Hayden grabs River to take a bath with her so that he can get ready as well while I clean up the mess downstairs and do the dishes.
By the time I finish cleaning up, the boys are ready for school and Hayden is walking downstairs in navy trousers and a white dress shirt. He’s holding River whose hair is wet from her bath with Hayden.
“Mommy! Hold!” she cheers, reaching towards me.
I grab her from Hayden and kiss her cheek, making her giggle. “You’re so clean. You’re not a sticky baby anymore.”
Hayden smiles at us and he grabs my cheek, stroking my skin softly. “I’ll be back to pick up the boys from their sports and then we can have dinner as a family.”
“Perfect.”
He leans towards me and pecks me on the lips. “I love you,” he mumbles against my lips.
And for a second, for those good few hours, it felt like everything was back to normal. We were back to our normal.
“I love you.” He smiles against the kiss before I lean away. “Go before you guys are late.”
“I’ll see you, princess.” He walks towards the front door, grabbing the X6 M car key. “Boys!” he yells, before walking out the door. “Let’s go or I’m leaving without you.”
“Bye, mom,” the boys say as they run past me out the door.
River and I watch them leave out the estate gate before the Sport SUV roars down the street. River and I go back inside thehouse and head to the living room. I put a movie on for River to watch so that I can write in peace.
I write one good chapter before she starts crying, which means that she needs her nap.
It’s the middle of the day and that’s usually when she takes her naps. I carry River to her crib and gently tuck her in. I brush a few strands of hair from her face and turn on the white noise in her room.
When I get back downstairs I turn on the baby monitor as I start writing again. After I stopped working as a sports journalist turned into a full-time mom, I decided to take up writing.
I have published one book and it did really well. Most of the books I write are self help books. I talk about my experiences in my life, having Type 1 diabetes, what I went through in college, my overthinking, and just mental health in general.
It’s helped me a lot, more than I thought it would. It’s my form of therapy ever since I canceled services with my old therapist.
Words poured out in steady lines, the kind of focused flow I haven’t felt in weeks.
Everything made sense.
All of the readers who have read my books, they all said they finally found someone and a story that they can relate to and it makes me feel good knowing that sharing my story or feelings can help other people.
