Page 28 of Blinded By Forever
Junior furrows his eyebrows. “Why? Where are you going?”
“California. Something happened.”
“Is it Daddy?” Easton asks, his voice too sharp for his age.
I freeze for a moment. “Yes, he’s hurt. But he’ll be okay.”
“You’re leaving us?” Easton’s face crumples.
“No, no. I’m not leaving you guys forever,” I say, walking towards them on the couch. “I just have to go see your dad and Natalia and Lilah are going to be staying here for a little while until I get back.”
“But I don’t want you to leave,” River shrieks, starting to cry.
“Me too,” Easton chimes in, getting up to hug my waist with River. “We want to see Daddy.”
“I know, baby,” I say, my throat burning. “But he’s in the hospital right now. You can’t be there. I need you guys to be brave for me, okay?” I look at River and Easton as they hug my waist.
“You always say we’re a family but why can’t we all go?” Junior stands, his jaw clenched looking just like his father.
“I am doing this for our family. I need to go and make sure your father is okay and make sure he gets home. We’ll come rightback, I promise. I never broke a promise to you guys.” Easton and River let go of me and look at me with tears in their eyes, breaking my heart to pieces. “Here.” I hold out my pinkies to them. “I promise you guys that I’ll be back and with your father.” Easton and River hook their pinkies around mine and I lock the promise with my thumbs pressing theirs. “I need you guys to be good for Natalia, okay?”
“Yes, mommy,” Easton says, trying to hold in his cries.
“You guys promise me to be good for Natalia while she watches you guys? I don’t want to get any phone calls from her telling me that you guys are acting out of control while I’m gone.”
“Okay,” Junior says.
I look at him and rest my hands on his shoulders. “You are the oldest. You know better and I need you to watch your sister and brother and make sure they act right with Natalia while I’m gone. I swear I’ll be back within the week and I’ll call every single day or minute if you need me to. I just need you guys to be good while I’m gone, okay?”
They all say yes before River hugs me again, crying.
This will be the first time I leave River.
Since she was born she’s always been by my side or Hayden’s side so I know she’s taking this hard. “Natalia will be here soon so I’m going to go pack okay?” I stand up with River still in my arms.
“Okay, mom,” Junior says, not sounding happy but he gets it.
He knows it’s probably serious.
He’s a smart boy.
I go upstairs with River still crying in my arms. I set her down on the bed and try to calm her down while I pack a quick bag.
I try not to cry to myself as I pack, the worry and overthinking getting to me. My heart splits because I have to leave them but also go to Hayden because he needs me.
I don't even know what I’ll find when I get to Hayden.
But I know one thing.
I can’t lose him. Not after everything we’ve been through together.
Fifteen
Jaclyn
Hospitals always smelled like antiseptic,panic, and sadness masked under a layer of lemon scented cleaner.
I hate them.
