Page 80 of Broken Beauty
I hear waves, Ariella's laughter, moans, the way she yells, argues, and how she breathes. I don't see my mother’s face or the way she would make me watch her slowly try to kill herself every night on the couch.
I see Ariella laughing, smiling. I see her fall in love and in awe.
I see Ariella.
I just hear her.
“Yes. So, stop talking and let me enjoy it.”
Ariella laughs and she pushes her head into my chest more.
Thirty-Seven
Ariella
Present
I don't like relying on someone. I have never been the type of person to ever rely on someone or try to give my whole heart to someone.
I'm scared of that.
Ever since my mother died, I have never fully given myself to someone with all of my guards down because I don't want to get hurt.
Because what happens when they leave too?
Ever since Ash dropped me off home last night my mind has been in it’s own tornado. He told me he would come back later that night and he never did. I was tempted to text him to ask him where he is or if he is okay but I didn't.
That would show that I actually care about him. It's hard to show my emotions to people, especially Ash because of the hold he has over me.
I'm scared that my feelings for him are growing and it's only a matter of time before they grow into something dangerous that I won't be able to control.
The whole entire day I have been drowning myself into homework and trying to distract myself from Ash. I talked to Bridgette for a little bit and she was complaining about how Jace isn't leaving her alone.
My patience is running thin and I am tempted to call Ash. But instead of being rational, I change into leggings and a sweater before grabbing my keys and leaving.
The drive to Ash's house feels so long and my mind keeps overthinking. All I keep thinking about is how Ash is possibly going to reject me or how he will be condescending and give me his dark, hateful gaze.
I park my car in the underground parking garage and next thing I know I am waiting in the elevator that's taking me up to Ash's floor.
When I am in front of Ash's door, my hands shake as I make a fist and knock on the door. It's quiet on the other side of the door. I knock on the door again and it's filled with echos; nothing.
My eyes drift to the door handle and before I talk myself out of this, I grip onto the door knob and turn it, pushing the door open.
It's quiet and hollow when I walk in. Ash's apartment is cold and dark. The only light there is, is the one in the kitchen.
But my attention shifts when I hear glass breaking and the sound of grunts upstairs.
My eyebrows furrow and I make my way upstairs, to the direction where Ash's room is. The sound of grunting gets louder and louder as I get closer to Ash's room.
His door is closed and I can't help but feel afraid of what I’m going to find behind the door. I turn the knob and surprisingly it opens.
The sound of glass breaking, and heavy breathing become more clear when I walk inside his room.
The door to the bathroom is closed and Ash isn't anywhere in the room.
I take hesitant steps towards the bathroom door and the nerves I'm feeling are skyrocketing by the second.
I'm about to knock on the bathroom door but then I hear the sounds of more glass breaking and grunting.
