I cum with a moan and my arms around him tighten.
Ash keeps moving inside me before he pulls out and cums on my stomach.
Our chests heaving and our sweaty, shaking bodies entangle together before they slow into a steady rhythm.
Fifty-Three
Ariella
Present
The sound of water from the bathroom is the first thing I hear when I wake up. I hear a few curses and grunts follow, which makes me open my eyes and look at Ash's side of the bed.
His spot is empty and I reach out and feel the sheets.
They are cold which makes me assume he has been out of bed for a while. I sit up and look around the room. The clock on his dresser reads 6:00 am.
We went to sleep just three hours ago. Why is he up?
Ash decided to keep touching me while I was trying to go to bed and we ended up staying up until 3:00 am. He is insatiable and wouldn't stop touching or kissing me.
The way his body felt against mine reminded me of the days in the summer when he was gentle and caring. When he was in love.
I didn't know if he was in love with me during those days in the summer but it felt like it. The way he held me afterward made me feel safe and warm. I felt like nothing could touch me. He made me feel like I was on top of the world and I had everything in the palm of my hand.
I get out of bed and grab his t-shirt from the floor and put it on. I open the door to his bedroom and I feel tears form in my eyes as I see glass on the ground.
There is blood on the floor and I feel like throwing up and kissing every single inch of Ash's body to make sure he knows how loved he is.
I look up at Ash and see his hands on the counter and him looking down at the sink that is covered with blood.
“Ash-“
“Even though you are here, sleeping with me, I still see her in my dreams,” Ash says before looking at me. His eyes are red and puffy which proves that he has been crying. Who in the world could hurt Ash so much that he feels the need to do this to himself? Who would hurt Ash and make him feel this way? More tears fall from my eyes and I don't dare look at his hands yet. I don't want to see what I saw the last time I found him like this. I swallow a sob and start to make my way to Ash but he leans off the counter and makes his way towards me. “I don't want you in here with all this glass. Go back to bed and I'll clean this up.”
I look down at the floor and look back up at him.
His eyes are filled with shame and they look so dark and vacant it almost scares me. I put my hands on his jaw and lean closer to him.
“Who hurt you?”
“Ari-“
“Who hurt you, Ash?! Tell me!” I say, tears practically running down my face now. I want to do everything in my power to protect Ash. Seeing him like this breaks my heart and I have never wanted to kill someone ever. I have never wished death on anyone. But seeing Ash like this breaks my heart more than him telling me he didn't love me. I want to kill whoever made Ash do this to himself. I rest my forehead on his. “Tell me, Ash. Tell me. Please tell me. Who hurt you? Who made you do this?”
I hear Ash take a deep breath before he lets out a shaky one.
Remembering him laugh and smile down at me makes me assume everything was fake.
The smile he gave me was fake. That smile that I fell in love with was fake and he just felt like hurting himself. He felt like dying.
That night in the summer when we were on the beach comes to mind. That night when he was telling me about his tattoos.
I didn't think anything of it.
I knew he had demons but I didn't think they were this strong.
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ariella. I didn't want you to know,” he says, moving his head to rest on my chest. I hold his head against my chest and we slowly fall to sit on the floor. My arms are wrapped around him as he cries silently in my chest. “Leave. If you want to, you can. I know I scare you Ariella, but you were never meant to see that again.”