“She always took care of me, no matter what. Whenever we got into a fight, she still said she loved me and would always care for me.” I say, smiling at the memories of her and I. “She always made sure I was warm when it was cold outside, she made sure I was doing good in school and whenever I made an accomplishment, she always said how proud she was and then she would have me bake with her.” Ash looks almost confused as I tell him these things. It's like everything I am telling him is foreign. It breaks my heart seeing his reaction of telling him simple things my mother, any mother would and should do with their child. “What's wrong?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows at him.
Ash looks out of the pod. It's like he is thinking what to say to not make this day ruined.
Please don't ruin this day.
It's been so good and one word from Ash could ruin it all.
I put my hand on his cheek and turn his face to look at me.
I can't tell what exactly he is thinking about as he looks at me. It's filled with a black void that looks almost emotionless.
It's unrecognizable.
It's the same look he has when his hands are bruised and cut.
“Nothing. Don't worry about it.”
As the pod makes its way down, Ash doesn't say anything to me.
He doesn't even look at me.
My mind goes into overthinking mode.
What did I say? Did I ruin today? Will this be the end of me and him again?
Ash is different from me and everyone else. Everyday I am still trying to figure him out and get a deeper look inside his mind.
He is hot and cold and I never know how to act around him sometimes.
I just hope whatever happens between us doesn't bite me back and hurt my heart.
Thirty-Six
Ash
Present
After we finished up dinner, Bridgette and Jace said they needed to leave for reasons I don't know but if it gives me time alone with Ariella, I don't care.
Luckily there is a beach next to the restaurant we went to, so Ariella and I decided to just sit down on the beach. Ariella got us a blanket from Bridgette’s car.
Bridgette told me we could use it if we didn’t had sex on the thing which Ariella blushed at.
She is also wearing my jacket around her shoulders. It's cold at the beach, especially during the winter. Although she is wearing a long sleeve and sweater, I know she is still cold.
When she saw the sweater she blushed and I know it was because of the many memories of times I have given her my sweater.
It's silent as we look at the waves across from us. Ariella rests her head on my shoulder and I just let my body relax. I don't feel tense, those voices in my head are gone and it's all because of this girl I've spent my summer with.
I just don't know how she does it.
And the fact that she doesn't know how obsessed I am with her is crazy. This feud between my father and Cal is slowly leaving my mind and all I can see when I look at Ariella is her.
“Do you ever wish you could just leave? Forget your name, your life with your parents and who you were with them and just start over in a new town?” Ariella asks.
“Of course. Everyone does,” I say softly. “Doesn't mean people do it. Everyone is too scared or they don't have the money for it.”
“My dad didn't call me for my birthday.”