Page 41 of Make You Wish You Were Dead
But she smiled and I kissed her goodnight before she went inside her room.
Now onto this morning.
When she came downstairs this morning, she would not look me in the eye. I didn’t think anything of it so I said nothing.
But now I am getting annoyed because even in the car she is not looking at me or saying one word, just like how it was when I first came to Italy.
So that's why, when the light turned red, I stopped the car and looked at Jane. "Are we really going to act like I didn't finger fuck you the other day?" I blurt out which makes Jane's eye widen and she chokes on her spit. She turns her head to look at me. "You heard me. Why are you acting so weird?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I've never really done that before."
"Kissed someone?" I raise an eyebrow at her.
"No, I’ve kissed before but I’ve never, you know," Jane says as her cheeks turn a shade darker.
"When was the last boy you kissed?"
"Why?" Jane furrowed her eyebrows at me.
So, I know how many times I need to kiss you and touch you to make you forget about him.
I didn't actually say that though.
Instead, I said, "Answer the question."
"Three years ago."
Right when her accident happened.
Since she started talking to me, I have been trying to figure out what exactly happened to her that night. I have been looking at the documents that were on record for that gala. It was the same gala that the Russians party-crashed, and a lot of shit went down at that party. Killian De Luca almost died, Alexander Russo died, some assassins died, and the Russian leader died, but there were no details on what happened to Jane. No doctor notes, files, nothing.
"Was he a good kisser?" I ask her and Jane shakes her head no.
I nod my head. "I never did tell you what happened that night," Jane says, which makes me furrow my eyebrows at her.
When the light turns green, I just pull the car over to the side so that we can talk. "If you don't want to tell me you don't have to."
"No. I trust you. I trust that you won't hurt me."
I feel the heat in my stomach tingle, but I ignore it.
"What happened?"
Jane took a deep breath but she turned her head so she wouldn't look at me. "At the gala, the one where the Russians attacked us all, I met a guy. He was sweet and said nice things to me that made me feel pretty or noticed. I was so gullible that I didn't see his true intentions."
"You're not gullible so don't say that."
Jane looks at me. "But I am. If I didn't easily trust him then I would be able to actually have freedom over my voice." Before I can respond to her she continues the story and turns her head away from me. "Towards the end of the party, he took me to the balcony that overlooks the mountains. After some talking, he kissed me, and I felt safe, like nothing was going to happen to me. But then he started to slide his hand lower, so I pushed him off." I see a small tear run down Jane's face but I keep listening. "I told him to stop but he didn't. He started to pull me closer to him and his hand slipped inside my underwear. I tried to push him off, but he ended up pushing me to the ground and then he took it."
My hands clench around the wheel and my whole body tenses up as I realize what Jane had been through.
Someone raped her.
Someone fucking raped her.
And I can’t help but feel wrong for touching her the way I did the other day.
"If I would have known, I would have never-"
