Page 24 of Make You Wish You Were Dead
Fear of falling.
I glide closer to her. "Then I'll pick you right back up, fawn." The fear fades from her eyes and she straightens her back. "Falling is a part of learning and becoming better. Don't feel discouraged when you fall because you are going to fall, Jane."
Jane stares at me for a minute longer before looking in front of her. She glides inch by inch while holding onto the railing.
As I see Jane getting more and more comfortable with gliding on the ice, I put my arm around her waist. Jane flinches and is about to freak out, but she turns her head and looks at me then starts to calm down.
"Hand off the railing." When Jane doesn't listen, I pull her away from the railing and closer towards me which makes her let go and let out a little gasp. She wraps her arms around my waist. That little fucking sound. Jesus Christ. "Can you stop being fucking stubborn and just listen?" I ask while ignoring the heat pooling in my stomach. Jane glares at me. "Now. I'm going to move. Look down at my feet and do the same thing I'm doing with my feet. I won't let you go, fawn." Jane nods her head and I start to glide against the ice, going straight.
Jane's grip on me tightens and I ignore the heat in my stomach.
Calm the fuck down, Rowan.
As I start to go a little fast, Jane copies my exact motions, moving her legs the same way I do.
She starts to loosen her grip on me as she gets familiar with what she is doing. She continues to look down at our feet, copying me and what I am doing.
When we start to turn to the left her grip around me tightens again and her breathing comes out harder.
"You’re doing good. Just keep looking down," I whisper in Jane's ear. My lips touch the top of her ear for a second and I swear that spot on my lip burns with how she feels. It's just a little touch but with Jane, it's everything. She nods her head and looks down as we turn. My arm is still around her waist, and I look down at her, admiring her curly hair and the way she furrows her eyebrows while looking down at our feet. I admire the way she nips her bottom lip when we turn again but her grip around me doesn't tighten like before. "I'm going to let you go now." Jane looks up at me and her eyes widen a little. "You'll do fine, fawn. If you fall, I'll pick you up."
Jane lets out a deep breath before she hesitantly loosens her grip and just holds onto the fabric of my shirt and lets her other arm hang by her side.
I lean away from her, and she looks up at me with worry in her eyes. For a second it feels like time stops between us. It’s just me and her, no one else.
The world is ours and she and I are perfect.
No past, no trauma, nothing.
I can imagine Jane talking to me, laughing, and telling me about her day.
I imagine everything about us when our eyes connect. My eyes trail down to her lips, and she licks her bottom lip.
"Watch out!" someone yells, making me look away from Jane and see a kid about to run into us. I pull Jane into my chest and move out of the way for the kid. "Fucking dickhead!"
"Suck my dick!" I yell at the kid, and he just sticks the middle finger at me. I didn't realize Jane put her head against my chest until I feel her nail digging into my back. Fuck. Great, now she is scared. "You want to go home?"
Jane nods her head into my chest. I put my hand on her waist and glide to where we exit the rink.
Once we put on our shoes and grab our stuff we leave the rink and walk to the car.
The drive home is quiet.
Neither of us talk the whole ride home.
But I did look at Jane a couple of times and catch her staring down at her hands or out the window.
I wish she would say something. I wish I could hear her voice again even if it's just to yell.
I want to bring her voice back.
When we arrive at the house, I park the car in the regular spot I always park in. Jane and I get out of the car, and we walk up the house steps and when we go inside the house we both start walking upstairs, going to our rooms.
When we get upstairs, I walk to my side of the hallway and Jane walks to hers.
"Rowan," I hear as I'm about to open my bedroom door.
Smooth, soft, alluring, but at the same time so sensual when she called my name.
