Page 63 of Make You Wish You Were Dead
"Fine, whatever," he remarks.
I don’t answer him or say anything. Instead, I walk away and out of the kitchen. I follow Jane to where she went off to.
The garden.
She's been going there a lot lately, pretty much since we got to California. I know that the garden is like a safe place for her when she wants to be alone.
I walk through the maze that leads to the small secret garden. I make a few turns before finally seeing Jane sitting on the bench reading a book. I don’t know how she always manages to have books around her.
Does she keep a shelf of books somewhere I don’t know about?
"Are you okay?" I ask as I walk towards her.
Jane lifts her head and her eyes meet mine. There is something hidden in her eyes. I don’t know whether to worry about it or not.
Jane isn’t acting how she was when it was just her and I in Italy. Over here she feels the need to guard herself.
"I’m fine. I just needed some space," she says quietly.
When I'm in front of her, I kneel down so that my knees hit the grass and I'm face to face with her.
"Are you sure? You ran out of the kitchen pretty quick. I want to make sure that Andrew isn’t bothering you."
"Seriously, Rowan. I’m fine. I just want to read," she says, giving me a small fake smile that I can see straight through.
She doesn’t want to talk, so I’m not going to force her to talk.
That is the one thing I will never do to Jane.
I know Jane has been through a lot and her talking to me normally is something I will never risk to lose. Forcing her to talk is one of the worst things that I can do to her because so many people try to do that with her already.
Not talking is a safety blanket for her.
So instead of forcing her to talk to me and tell me what’s really going on with her, I press a soft kiss to her forehead before standing up and leaving her alone.
Thirty Three
Rowan
Something's wrong with her.
I can tell.
Ever since we came back to the US, she has been acting weird, distant.
Today I realized because every time I would try and talk to her she would give me short-word answers.
I mostly hung out with Andrew today because Jane was staying in her room all day. Sometimes she was in the garden, but I have been giving her, her space today. I did come into her room thirty minutes ago because I was going to go in the pool and wanted her to come with me once everyone was in their rooms.
I'm not worried about getting caught with her in the pool because once Cole and Layna are in their room, they stay there for the rest of the night. Also, the security cameras are run by me so we don't have to worry about getting caught since I'll delete the footage.
I hear the door from a few feet away open and close, making me turn my head around, only to see Jane walking towards the pool with a towel in her hand and a familiar black shirt covering her body.
I feel the heat in my stomach turn.
God, she's beautiful.
"Hey," I say once she is by the pool, putting her towel on the pool chair. She smiles at me and takes off my shirt. I stare at her, trailing my eyes all over her body until she is submerged in the pool. She floats in the water, staying in the spot she is in, not coming any closer to me. Right now, I am sitting on the pool bench with my back leaned against the wall. "Come here." Jane hesitantly swims towards me and when she is close enough, my arm wraps around her waist and I pull her in between my legs. She wraps her arms around my neck and her face is only centimeters away from mine. "Tell me what's going on with you," I demand.
