Page 47 of Make You Wish You Were Dead
"Rowan," I moan, which makes Rowan connect his lips with mine again for a second before leaning away. "Why'd you stop?" I ask in a breathy tone.
"Because I didn't actually mean for you to fix my problem. You went through shit, and I don't want to rush you-"
I connect our lips together again and trail my hands into his hair.
That's the thing though, I don't want him to stop. I want him to keep going and have this go further. I'm ready for it. Whatever this feeling is that he is giving me, I want to see how much better it can get.
I want to feel him all over me.
I want to erasehistouch and replace it with Rowan's.
"I want you," I mumble as I kiss him.
Rowan backs away. "Are you sure?" He raises his eyebrows at me.
For a moment, it feels like I go back in time.
I’m on the floor of that balcony and my dress is torn, bunched up to my waist.
I am staring at the face that ruined my entire life and made me wish I was dead.
"You feel so fucking tight honey," he whispered in my ear as he thrusted in and out of me.
All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die or better yet grab the nearest gun and shoot myself in the head so that I never had to think about this day ever again.
I didn’t want to be alive anymore.
"Jane," Rowan says, which makes me look back up at him. "Are you here?"
Rowan’s eyes show concern and my heart melts as I look up at him.
I want to do this.
I want to erase his touch and replace it with Rowan’s.
I want Rowan to help me.
"I’m here."
"We don’t have to do this, we can wait, fawn." He leans down and presses his lips against mine, softly.
"I’m ready Rowan. I want you," I feel him nod before his lips leave mine making me let out a small whimper. Rowan stands up with me in his arms and he carries me to the bed. "You won't be hurt though, will you?" I ask, thinking about his gunshot wound.
"This is nothing compared to the way you'll feel," he says before placing me on the bed softly. He rubs the top of my thighs up and down as he asks, "Do you want me to take your clothes off or you?"
"You," I breathe out.
Rowan nods his head before lifting me off the bed a little to take off my shorts and then my tank top right after.
"You don't wear underwear when you go to sleep?" Rowan raises an eyebrow at me.
I shake my head 'no'. "They are really uncomfortable to wear."
Rowan lets out a small sigh and then he leans over me with his knee in between my legs. His hands hold both of mine and pins them to the bed as he leans down and presses his lips against mine, tenderly.
"You're so fucking perfect you know that?" he says as he kisses me, nipping my bottom lip. "So perfectly ruined for me."
The world starts to fade into the shadows as he kisses me.
