Page 21 of Make You Wish You Were Dead
"Because if you didn't want to talk then you wouldn't have yelled at me today," Rowan states which makes me look down at my hands. That was a mistake and it should have never happened. I didn't even know I did it until after. "Because whenever I do or say something you don't like you want to argue or when I tell you to do something you always want to fucking argue with me." I don't reply to him. I just continue to look down at my hands. "I want to help you get your voice back, fawn. Not for your parents, not for me, not for Thalia, but for you. I want you to be able to argue back and tell me what's on your mind. I want to meet the Jane everyone has been telling me about before you lost your voice."
I shake my head and look at Rowan."I don't want any of your help."
Rowan nods his head lightly with a straight face. "What happened the night of the gala when Thalia lost her husband?"
My mind goes back to the same question my mother and everyone else in that hospital room asked.
"Love, if you know what happened, you can tell us. You can talk to us. I promise we won't hurt you," my mother promised as she sat on my bed with my father behind her with his arm wrapped around her waist.
I looked up from my hands and looked at my mother. She had dry tears on her cheeks and my father looked so tired I thought he was about to pass out on my mom's shoulder.
I don't know. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could. But I don't know. All I know is that if I ever find out I can't tell you or something bad will happen.
"Baby, you can trust us. I promise you," my father said in a pained voice. "We love you and want to help you." My mom put her hand on mine but I shook my head and looked away from them as a small tear fell from my eye down my cheek.
"Jane," Rowan says making me look at him and stop thinking about that time. "What happened?" he asks again.
I straighten my back."It's none of your business,"I sign before taking another scoop of my ice cream and putting it in my mouth.
Eleven
Jane
"So why are you here?"Thalia asks while raising her eyebrow at me.
"I texted you."
"Yea, I know but you didn't really explain what you wanted to try."
I texted Thalia earlier today to ask if I could try something with her and immediately told her that it wasn't anything sexual because Thalia's mind always goes straight to the gutter.
I try to mutter out the words for a good minute while Thalia just sits and stares at me, waiting for something to happen.
But when I don't say anything, I just sign,"I want to try and talk to you."
Thalia's eyes widen and she smiles. "Really?" I nod my head and her smile widens even more if that's possible. "What made you want to try?"
I trust Thalia with all my heart.
And that's why I trusted her by telling her that I talked to Rowan.
"I talked to Rowan in the kitchen. He was yelling at me and then I yelled at him back."
"No way! You yelled at Rowan!" Thalia yells and I cover her mouth so that she won't yell anymore.
Thank god Landon is taking a nap in the other room.
Rowan brought me to Thalia's house, and I know he is downstairs talking or hanging out with Killian because I didn't hear the car leave.
Ace and Aria are at Ace's main headquarters, checking stocks and new trainees that he had for his army and whatnot. Killian is supposed to be at training, but he managed to skip. It’s like he is asking for trouble.
He always likes to get himself in trouble on purpose.
I asked him one time why he was always so reckless and always fighting and he just answered with a simple "You only live once."
I get my hands off Thalia's mouth."Yes. I did and I don't know how I did it. I tried to talk to myself in the mirror the other day but that didn't work."
"Out of everyone you have in your life you ended up yelling at Rowan. My old bodyguard and your new hot bodyguard. Crazy how things work out." I narrow my eyes at her as if I'm saying, 'Are you serious right now?' "I know that look Jane and I will tell you right now, I don't think I will be able to help you. I honestly think that Rowan will be the one to break the huge black boulder around your heart."
