Page 56 of Beautifully Used
I sat in the room alone, thinking about the night and how it had all transpired. Starting out with the surprise visit from my mom, the way Brodie’d left, the angry expression on his face as he glanced at me before shutting the door. If he hadn’t left, the episode with Jeff might never have happened. I’ll admit, I’d wanted him to leave. I didn’t want him subjected to my mother’s cruel and critical remarks that I knew she’d never be able to keep from making—directly or indirectly, at Brodie’s expense. He’d never have her stamp of approval. The type of man she would pick for me needed to be wealthy, established, and clannish. To my delight, Brodie didn’t possess any of those persnickety qualities. I’d never be able to be with someone my mother approved of. Yes, I’d wanted Brodie to leave but I didn’t realize it would backfire on me. I picked my sorry self up from the couch and headed toward the bedroom, stopping midway down the hall as I passed the guest room, half thinking maybe I should spend the night in there; nixing that idea as I remembered reading somewhere that couples should never go to bed angry.
Chapter 47
Brodie
* * *
I knew the minute my head hit the pillow that I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I lay on my side in the dark, wanting so badly to talk to Gabrielle. Unfortunately, I didn’t think tonight was a good night, considering what had happened. I knew the danger of Jeff raping her had to have been frightening, and she didn’t need me adding to the pile of emotions that must be swimming around in her head with my own brooding and feelings of rejection. I’d learned a valuable lesson tonight. No matter how much I loved Gabrielle, or how much she acted like she loved me—or thought maybe she did—I’d never be good enough for her. That revelation tore into my heart, breaking it completely in half. Gabrielle came from money, and I was just an average guy with dreams no bigger than owning a well-run bar in a town where I got to play my bass a couple nights a week with a band that managed to obtain some nice gigs every once in a while.
A faint breeze tickled the hairs on my legs as Gabrielle lifted the sheet and slid in beside me. I closed my eyes, glad that she’d decided to come to bed. No matter how hurt I was, I didn’t want her sitting out in the living room all night thinking about Jeff. She may be embarrassed by me and not love me the way I wanted, but I still loved her and cared about her. The thought of not having Gabrielle in my life stole my breath away, as surely as if I’d fallen into the deepest, darkest part of the ocean without an oxygen tank.
“Brodie?”
I thought about staying quiet and letting her think I was asleep, but that was foolish. “Yeah?”
“Are you asleep?”
“No.”
Her arm gently and timidly found its way around my waist, and I melted. Unable to resist her, I turned around to face her.
“I’m so very sorry I hurt you.”
That statement was everything I’d wanted to hear, but upon hearing it, a lump formed in my throat and I could do nothing but stare into her tear-filled eyes.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
I finally found my voice. “I get it.”
“Do you? Because I don’t think you do. I know what you think.”
“How could you possibly know what I think?”
“The reason I didn’t introduce you as my boyfriend to my mother is because I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Just okay?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, how’s this? How the hell would introducing me, the man you’ve been sleeping with for the past several weeks, the man who loves you and you think you love back, how would introducing me as your boyfriend to your mother hurt me?”
“I was sparing you from any odious comments she would have made toward you, directly or indirectly.”
“Sparing me? Honey, I don’t need you or anyone sparing me from anything.” Now Gabrielle was just making things worse.
“Up against my mother you do.”
“And what makes her so dangerous?”
Gabrielle sat up. “She’s evil.”
I propped my elbow up and rested my head on my hand so we’d be semi eye to eye. “Go on,” I prompted, almost laughing at the evil comment, but I was too angry to give in quite yet.
She sighed and twisted two of her fingers in her other hand. “She has this idea that I need to marry someone who…” she looked at the ceiling then back at me, “…runs in the same circles as she does.”
