Page 28 of The Sweet Spot
She links our fingers. “Because it’s too late.”
Chapter 10 – Jennie
I press my palm to Chris’s and link our fingers together. As usual, he’s being wonderful when I don’t deserve it. The mess I’m in is of my own making.
The biggest mistake I made wasn’t marrying David. It was saying no to Chris all those years ago when we were in school. I thought I was protecting him. I was bullied so badly for being an outsider—a brown girl in a school full of white kids. I was the half-breed Mexican-American, and I wanted to spare him that pain—the jokes, the slurs, the hateful looks. The name-calling. He was already being bullied because of his mother, and I didn’t want to add to his misery.
So, instead, I drove him away—literally, he left town because of me. I know he did because his mother told me so not long before she died of an overdose. I can still hear Kitty Nelson’s voice in my head.“You drove my son away, you fucking slut! What, you think you’re too damn good for my boy? Well, to hell with you.”
It was ironic that she called me a slut when I was still a virgin, and she was the notorious town prostitute.
I want so badly to tell him how I feel—how I’vealwaysfelt about him. But it’s far too little, too late.
“I should never have gone away,” he says, his voice low and tight, laced with self-recrimination. “I should never have left you.” He squeezes my hand. “God, I wish I could go back and do things differently.” His eyes tear up. “I just couldn’t handle it at the time. Now that I’m older, I—”
“Handle what?” I ask. My heart starts pounding.
“Pining for you like a lovesick teenager. Being around you all the time, knowing you didn’t feel the same way I did—itkilledme.”
I didn’t feel the same way?My throat seizes up on me. My pulse is galloping, and I can’t catch my breath. “Chris, of course I—”
“JENNIE!”
Granny’s hoarse cry rattles the windows. I jump up and run to the living room, where she’s napping on her recliner. She’s flailing her hands, clearly frantic.
“Granny, what’s wrong?” I ask. I notice Chris hovering just outside the room.
“Where’s George? Where’s my husband?”
My heart sinks. I can’t tell her the truth. It’s been years since he passed, and she still asks for him. “He’s out in the garage,” I tell her, feeling sick to my stomach for lying to her. But a white lie to spare her feelings is better than the cold hard truth.
She glances toward the big window. It’s starting to get dark out. “But it’s late.”
“You know how he gets when he’s working on his car. He’ll be along soon.” I guide her to lie back down and straighten her blanket. “Go back to sleep, Granny.”
“He’s been gone a long time.” She sighs. “I miss him so much.”
I freeze when I hear that moment of clarity coming from her. “So do I, Granny.”
She notices Chris in the doorway and points at him. “It’s your husband.”
This time I don’t want to fudge the truth. “No, Granny. I divorced David, remember? He wasn’t very nice.”
“Oh, I don’t meanhim. I mean this one. Chris. The sheriff.” She yawns. “I always liked him better. He’s a good man.” As sherolls onto her side and closes her eyes, Pumpkin lies against her, purring loudly.
“Sorry about that,” I whisper to Chris, who follows me back to the kitchen.
I pick up my empty tea cup and rinse it out in the sink. My nerves are frayed. After seeing David again, I feel like my emotions are all over the place. As I stand at the sink, busying myself with unnecessary tasks, Chris takes the hint.
He walks up beside me and rests his hand on my shoulder. “I guess I should go. I’m sure you’re tired after all the drama today.”
My throat tightens as I nod. “Yeah. I guess so.” I came so close tonight to confessing how I feel about him. I want to tell him, but I’m worried about how he’ll take it. Will he hold me accountable for all the time we’ve wasted? I wouldn’t blame him if he did.
“Okay, then. Make sure you lock up.” He pats my back and lets himself out the door without another word.
I’m such a coward.
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