Page 271 of Mountain Grump
Doom defeats panic. And sadness coats my skin.
She’s asking me if I knew about the money before we had sex.
And I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself more than I do right now.
It wasn’t like that.
I didn’t think of the money once.
It had nothing to do withus.
But that’s not the question she’s asking.
And that’s not the answer she wants.
So I give her the truth. “Yes.”
She blinks, releasing more tears.
And they’re my fault.
Each and every one.
Her fragile, fake smile finally breaks. “Okay.” She nods. “Okay.”
“It’s not okay.” The words drag across my tongue. “I haven’t beenstayingfor the money. I don’tneedthe fucking money, Matilda. I’ve told you before. I have my own.”
She lifts a shoulder. “You need to fix your plane.”
I shake my head. “I already have a new one. It’s done. Withoutthismoney.” I lift the crumpled paper.
She stares at me. And I know she doesn’t believe me.
Because I didn’t tell her.
I knew the idea of flying still scared her, so I didn’t tell her.
“That day I had to go sign paperwork at the hangar. It was paperwork for my new plane. It was delivered that day.” I plead for her to understand. “Please believe me.”
“I want to.”
“But you don’t.” Pain streaks through my chest. And that crack in my heart expands. Bits of stone chipping away.
It fucking hurts that she doesn’t believe me.
That she thinks I’d use her. Sleep with her. Spend so much time with her. For money.
It hurts that she doesn’t give me the benefit of the doubt.
But why would she?
That fucking letter.
The fucking letter that makes me like everyone else she knows.
All the people in that lawyer’s office.
Her reaction the first time we met. When she asked if her cousin sent me.
