Page 62 of Hooked On Him
We don’t speak again for a while. And when the sun starts to set, I turn around in his lap and sit with my back to his chest, and we watch the pretty colors in the sky as he holds me, leaving soft kisses on my shoulder, soothing the pain lingering in my soul.
That's when I know I’m in love with this man. I want him for myself. I want him to be mine, for real. To never let me go.
But I won’t tell him that. Not yet. I can’t break this little bubble we’ve built because what if this connection we have doesn’t mean the same thing to him as it does to me?
Since Austin came back into my life, I feel like I’m finally living again. I feel more like myself than I have in years.
I’m not willing to risk it.
I need Austin. More than I think is healthy. This can’t end well for me, but right now, I don’t seem to care.
Chapter 14
Austin
Trying to keep my shit together for Levi was almost impossible. But the last thing he needed was me to go off the rails.
So I swallowed down my anger and held Levi in my arms. We sat for what felt like hours, just being connected with one another until the sun went down.
Today was perfect. Being able to hang out with Levi like this was everything. Seeing his face light up every time he found a stone or piece of glass he liked melted my fucking heart.
I don’t think I’ve smiled so much in my life. Seeing him happy made me happy.
That was until he told me about how things were between him and his ex. And how it led to them breaking up.
Seeing the broken look in Levi’s eyes when he told me his truth fucking destroyed me. I never in my life want to see that look or have him feel that pain again. If I could go back and save him from his past, I would in a heartbeat.
What Brogan did was sexual coercion. He sexually assaulted Levi. Even if he didn’t physically hold him down and force himself on him, he harassed him to the point he felt like he had no other choice than to give in, even if that was the last thing he wanted to do.
Knowing that Levi, even for a moment, wanted to end his life makes me want to burn the fucking world down.
I meant what I said. I’m so fucking proud of him. He chose to stay. To fight for his life. A world without Levi isn’t a world I want to be in.
This heavy guilt weighed on me the whole way home. We sat in my car, his hand in mine, and drove in silence, but the wholetime all I could think about was how much I hated myself for not being there for him when he needed someone the most.
Maybe if he felt like he had more people on his side, he would have ended things with Brogan sooner.
But it’s not easy to leave an abusive relationship. Just ask my mother. I’m still waiting for her to wake up and see the man she’s married to. Or maybe she already has and has given up. It hurts to know some people feel like they have no way out.
I’m so fucking glad Levi got out.
When we get home, Levi heads into his room to shower and change. I do the same, spending far longer in the shower than I should. I just can’t get out of my own head, can’t stop thinking about what Levi had to go through.
I’m glad I’m in his life now. I’m going to make it my damn mission to make sure this man never feels pain like that again.
“Hey.” Levi looks up from his spot on the couch when I eventually make my way out to the living room. “Is everything okay?”
“Yup.” I give him a smile. “What are you up to?”
“Studying,” he sighs heavily. “Downside of enjoying my night off, I still have homework to do.”
“We can do ours together,” I say, grabbing my bag from near the door.
“Okay.” He smiles as I sit down next to him. For the rest of the night, we do our work, but I sneak glances at Levi, making sure he’s okay.
Eventually, he starts to nod off, and I chuckle softly. “Bedtime for you, Mister.”
“Huh?” He blinks his adorably sleepy eyes at me.
