Page 52 of The Duke's Impossible Deal
I do not need it.
She had perfectly serviceable gowns. Just because she had money now did not mean she should spend it on her every whim.
“I have plenty of dresses as it is. Before we got married, I had several altered and given new life, and commissioned a couple.Having money now is no reason to spend it carelessly.” She shrugged. “Besides, I do not want to take advantage of Tob—the Duke’s generosity.”
“From the way he looked at you, I suspect he would rather enjoy it.” Verity gave her a pointed look.
Rowen felt her cheeks flush, but she did her best to fix her friend with a withering glare. “And if I wanted him to enjoy such a view, then I might consider it. However, I do not.”
“But think how it would add to your little game,” Verity reasoned.
“I think that would be a little too like playing with fire, Verity, and I have no wish to do so.” Rowen tried not to think of the way Tobias’s eyes had widened when she touched his chest.
What would he think of me in a dress like that?
She felt her cheeks flush and shook her head. “Besides, I want him to take me seriously and not just appreciate me for my looks. I cannot rely on them forever.”
“When your looks fade, men leave you, dear girl.”
Her mother’s voice echoed in her head, and she swallowed. “I have to keep myself safe—keep my children safe. It is far better that Tobias see me as someone competent than as something to pursue.”
“I would love to be fawned over and ogled at every turn,” Verity stated.
Rowen laughed. “You and I both know that is not true. While you may like to look beautiful, my darling Verity, I know that you have no interest in taking a husband.”
“There is a big difference between a husband and a man looking appreciatively at something he will never have.” Verity’s smile was all playful mischief. “I have no wish to be caged again, but to be appreciated? Well, one does like to have their ego stroked on occasion.”
“I suppose there is some truth in that, though I would not call my marriage a cage.” Rowen shifted in her seat, massaging the back of her neck as disquiet coiled inside her. “And I doubt Adele would think of her marriage as one either.”
“No, but you and I both know that such things are the exception rather than the rule. A good man is hard to find.” Verity’s smile slipped for the barest moment before she took Rowen’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “All jokes aside, my dear Rowen, it does seem like you have found yourself a good man.”
“He found me,” Rowen said without thinking. “He may be a good man, but he is only doing his duty. I am an obligation to him, and that suits me just fine. Good men do not always remain so.”
She thought of the promises Tobias had made to her on their wedding day. He had honored those vows, it was true.
But will he continue to?
“I think more often that the men who turn out to be unworthy were never decent in the first place. They simply adopt a façade of gentlemanliness to hide a black heart.” Verity’s eyes darkened, and Rowen knew she was thinking of her own late husband.
“But it is not always easy to tell the difference.” Rowen swallowed. “I cannot afford to put my trust in the wrong place, Verity. Or to put myself under the mercy of a man’s whims.”
It was going well, but then there was that business with Alistair. Even though they seem to have mended things, it was a reminder of how fragile my situation is.
Rowen took a sip of her tea to keep from voicing her thoughts. Her heart felt like it was being pulled between two invisible strings, and she could not understand it.
“You know that we will always be there to support you, Rowen. No matter what happens.” Verity squeezed her hand. “You will never be powerless.”
“I know.” Rowen smiled at her. “I suspect if Tobias ever tried to hurt me, you and the others would break down the door and teach him a lesson.”
“Of course.” Verity nodded.
“But I doubt it will come to that.”
I will not let him hurt me.
Rowen took another sip of her drink.
The grandfather clock chimed the hour, and Verity looked out the window. “I should be on my way. It looks like it might snow.”
