Page 101 of The Duke's Impossible Deal
“I suppose I deserve that.”
“You do.”
Rowen turned on her heel to leave, but he caught her wrist. “Please, Rowen, just give me one minute. Let me explain it all to you, and when I am done, if you still have no wish to see me, I will leave.”
“And just what is it you want to explain to me? The fact that you think of me as an obligation? When I was vulnerable and threw myself at you, you told me I was amistake.”
“You were—are not a mistake. When I said that it was a mistake, I was not talking about you. I was talking about myself. I was talking about the fact that I had lost control. It was about me, not you. I should not have let you leave. I should have asked you to stay. No, I should havebeggedyou to stay.”
“Then why did you not?”
“Because I was scared, Rowen. I told myself that letting you go was what you wanted. That it would be the best thing for you and the children. That to ask you to stay was selfish and cruel.” He shook his head. “I deluded myself into believing that it was for the best, but I was wrong. I thought that if I let myself have all the things my brother should have had, I would dishonor his memory. I thought that if I let myself have what I truly wanted, my father would win.
“I was never supposed to have any of this, Rowen. I was supposed to be a soldier. To be a second son and to live that life. When my father killed my brother, I could not stand the guilt. I swore to him that I would not continue his line. But then James died—or I thought he did—and you came into my life. And you made me remember what it means to live, to really be alive.”
“What are you saying?”
“That I have been a fool, Rowen. A complete and utter fool. And I am sorry.”
“You should be. You broke my heart, Tobias. You made me feel like you cared for me, like you might even… I wanted to be your wife in every sense of the word, and now you are telling me that some silly grudge against a dead man kept you from being the husband I deserve?”
“It is ridiculous, I know. And I see that now.” He closed the distance between them. “I should never have let it come betweenus. My father was scum, but my brother… He would never have wanted me to shut myself away, to deprive myself of everything that made life worth living. He would have wanted me to find happiness, to cling to joy with every fiber of my being. Life is worth living, Rowen, and I intend to do just that.”
“All I wanted was for you to ask me to stay.” Her lip trembled, and she felt a tear roll down her cheek. “That was all I wanted. I just wanted you to ask me to stay.”
“I am asking you now, Rowen.” He reached up and gently cupped her face in his hands, his breath fogging in the air between them. “Come home with me.”
“It is too late, Tobias. You do not get to come here looking like an irritatingly handsome but beleaguered traveler, all rakish charm and apology, and expect me to run to you with open arms.” She stepped away from him, wrapping her arms around herself. “It is not that easy.”
“Do you want to come home with me?”
“You broke my heart.”
“That is not an answer.”
“I never wanted to leave.”
“Then come back.” He knelt in front of her and spread his arms wide.
“You told me you never kneeled.”
“For you, I will do anything.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, Rowen.” He stood up and cupped her face in his hands again. “I told myself that I only married you out of obligation, but I think a part of me knew that you were my missing piece. I think the real reason I asked you to marry me was because I could see that your soul beat in time with my own. That you were the one person in the world who could make me feel whole again. And every day we have spent together has only proved that more true than the last.”
His lips were a hair’s breadth from her own. Her heart thundered in her chest as his green eyes blurred into one.
“I love you, Rowen, and I want to spend every day loving you.”
His breath tickled her lips, and she closed her eyes. “I love you, too.”
Tears ran down her cheeks as Tobias kissed her, and her heart soared. His kiss was a question and a promise, a statement and a wish, and she answered with the same fervor.
When they broke apart, it could have been minutes or hours later. She did not know, and she did not care.
He wiped a tear from her face with his thumb, and she saw that his own eyes were watery.
