Page 82 of The Duke's Impossible Deal
Rowen looked at the woman, her grey-streaked hair, the slight hunch in her back. The familiar haughty expression on her face.
Her mother continued, “I suppose it is his nature that has allowed him to look past your flaws—which is lucky, but it will not last. Rakes do not change; just look at your father.”
Rowen followed her mother’s gaze and saw her father flirting with a group of women who could not have been more than twenty. Each was laughing and giggling at his jokes. She then looked back at her mother, whose face contorted in shame and embarrassment.
She recognized that pain—that had been her life with her first husband.
As she looked at her mother, her skin prickled, and she turned slightly to see Tobias watching her. He was still dancing with Cora, but she could tell by his stiff posture that he had witnessed their exchange.
His green eyes met hers for just a moment. He canted his head, and Rowen knew that if she asked, he would be there in an instant.
“Look past your flaws…”
A smile crept onto her face as warmth spread through her chest. His answering smile made the ballroom seem somehow lighter.
She shook her head ever so slightly. His body relaxed, and she turned back to face her mother.
“Rakes cannot be trusted,” her mother sniffed.
“Then it is a good thing Tobias is no such thing.” Rowen’s voice was calm, and she took a deep breath.
I do not need to hurt her. I do not need to make her feel small.
“He is a good and kind man, and I will not let you speak about him like that.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “You say that now, but Rowen, you and I both know it will not last. Just look at you. You are hardly the beauty you once were. And yet you swan around as though you are Helen of Troy. It is unbecoming—a man like that will not want such arrogance in his life.”
“Do not try to hide your radiance.”
Rowen shook her head, her smile dimming as her mother’s eyes narrowed. “Mother, you have no idea what a man like Tobias wants because you have never known someone like him.”
“Why must you insist on hurting me? You are wilful, disobedient, and entirely ungrateful.” Her mother placed a hand on her chest and shook her head.
“I am not the reason you are in pain.” Rowen gestured to her father. “He is.”
Her mother’s eyes widened.
Rowen continued speaking despite her racing heart. “All my life, you have made me feel unworthy. You have hurt me, made me believe that I am somehow the cause of all your suffering. I have heard your voice in my head, whispering that they will all leave me in the end, that I am not good enough.”
She looked back at the dance floor, at Tobias and Cora, Verity and Adele.
“You have hurt me, Mother, and I think that you truly believed it was for the best, but I have no intention of letting you continue doing so.”
“What are you saying?”
“I can see that you are lonely, that you feel trapped in a life you did not want. But instead of trying to protect me from it,you sought to trap me in your own pain.” Rowen took a step back. “You are my mother; you should have protected me, not punished me. And while I cannot find it in my heart to hate you, I cannot forgive you either.”
“They will all leave you in the end, you will see.” Desperation flickered in her mother’s eyes.
“And if they do, I still will not return to your arms.” Rowen gave her a sad smile as she stepped further away. “They have shown me what it means to be loved, and I will not settle for anything less.”
She saw the anger and fear in her mother’s eyes and softened her voice. “You do not have to be alone, but if you do not change, you will be. For your own sake, I hope you find peace.”
She turned around and made her way to Tobias and her friends. Each face held a look of pride that made her heart swell.
She knew they were in her corner.
Twenty-Four
