Page 61 of The Duke's Impossible Deal
He gave her a small, sad smile and stood up. He put a few biscuits on a plate and gestured to the door. “I should leave you to enjoy this in peace. I am glad you had a good evening.”
Something inside her snapped, and she found herself standing, moving towards him.
“I lied,” she blurted. “About the play.”
Tobias’s eyes widened, and he moved back into the room. “Did something happen? Are you all right? I will make sure that?—”
“No, nothing happened. It… It is the children.” Rowen waved her hands frantically and then began to pace around the kitchen. “In the past, they have been a handful. They are usually full of energy and are so excited by everything around them that I spend my time telling them to stop climbing things. Yet tonight… I have never seen them like this before.”
“What do you mean?” Tobias asked.
“They seemed so lifeless, and they slept through nearly the entire play. I have scarcely seen them recently, and when I have, they seem withdrawn.” Rowen made a frustrated noise. “I am worried about them.”
“I have not heard anything like this from their tutors.” There was an emotion in Tobias’s voice that she could not quite place. “They all have only positive things to say about the twins, though I have yet to speak to their fencing instructor.”
“I just do not understand it.” Rowen’s hands curled into fists. “For the first time in our lives, we do not have to worry about money. They are clearly dedicated to their studies, and they wantfor nothing. They have new clothes, toys, books. Yet…” She felt a lump form in her throat. “I just want them to be happy.”
“As do I.” Tobias’s voice sounded hollow.
She turned to look at him, but his face was half hidden in shadow as he had stepped back from her. She could see the tension in his shoulders.
“I think it would be best if I moved to the country once my business in London is concluded.” Tobias clenched his fists.
His words hit her like a brick. She stepped back, a hand on her chest.
Is he running away?
She had opened up to him. She had thought she could rely on him, and now…
“Why?” She tried to keep the anger and confusion from her voice.
“You said it yourself; the children have everything they want and need. They lack for nothing, and when it was just you without me, they seemed happier.” Tobias was shaking his head. “I must conclude that it is my presence that is causing their distress. I told myself that it was duty that kept me here, but perhaps it was simply loneliness. And in my selfishness, I have broken my vows.”
“I tried to push it all away.”
His words echoed in her mind. She knew that he had been lonely; she had felt that same loneliness.
“But…” Rowen trailed off, unsure of what to say.
“It could be nothing else. I am the one who has arranged their lessons and perhaps crammed their schedules. I am the one who has not noticed a change in their behavior.” He pressed a knuckle to his temple. “I think it will be best if I leave. I shall make the arrangements and have the servants ready the country estate.”
Rowen felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room.
He is leaving.
She swallowed. Her thoughts were a jumble of words she could scarcely make out.
“You are leaving tonight?” She took a step towards him.
“No. It will take some time to arrange things. Perhaps… Yes, I might be able to stay with Scarfield for a few days.” Tobias gave her a smile that did not reach his eyes. “Just think, Duchess. You will finally have what you want. All the money and status and none of the bother of a husband in your house.”
Rowen could not think of anything to say as she watched him leave.
He was offering her everything she had wanted. She would have the house to herself and full control of everything.
Yet the thought of him leaving made her blood run cold, and she was not sure what scared her more: the thought of him leaving or the fact that a part of her wanted him to stay.
Eighteen
