Page 26 of The Duke's Impossible Deal
“Then he is the one at fault, not you.” Tobias took a step towards her, his tone fierce. “Any man who would belittle or degrade a woman is little more than filth. If he ever laid a hand on you—” His fist was clenched.
Rowen’s eyes widened, and she waved her hands emphatically. “It was nothing like that. He was not unkind to me. Well, not in the way you are thinking.”
Tobias swallowed, fighting to get his temper under control. “Then what was it like?”
His voice was soft, and to his relief, the edge of anger did not bleed into his words. He looked into her expressive grey eyes and saw the sadness in them as she gave him a half smile.
She ran a hand along her upper arm. “He just broke my heart. I was young and in love, and he made me feel… Well, he made me feel all sorts of things. Like I was some priceless treasure that he would love until his dying day. Like he would give me the moon if I asked. He was always saying things like that.”
Tobias saw the tension in her body as she stared off into the distance. She was hugging herself again, and he realized that he had taken another step towards her.
“He loved to lavish me with gifts, especially in the early days. He swore all sorts of things to me, and he doted on me. And then, just after I told him I was pregnant, I discovered that he had been having an affair.” She began to pace. “And it was not the first one. Nor was it the last. After the third one, I gave up. Isuspect the twins have more than a few half-siblings around the country.”
Tobias gritted his teeth. “I have never understood why some men bother getting married if they are just going to spend their lives lying and cheating on their wives.”
“His wedding vows were about as hollow as an empty well. As were all of his promises. Not that that is the worst of it.” She grimaced. “He betrayed me in so many ways, but the worst was how he hid his ineptitude from me. His recklessness and selfishness. I do not know, really. Whatever it was, when he died, I discovered the extent of his weakness. He left us destitute. It was so bad that I feared I would end up in debtor’s prison.”
Tobias remembered how James had spoken with such anger about his sister’s late husband.
I doubt James knew just how badly he had treated her, or else the man would have met an earlier end.
Tobias’s fingers twitched again, and he fought the rising anger in his chest.
“So when I walked into the church and saw everyone and heard their whispers, and then I smelled sandalwood, it was too much to bear.” Rowen was still pacing. “I was starting yet another marriage on vows that would be hollow and utterly meaningless.”
“Then we should change that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have no wish for us to start on the same footing as you and the late Earl.”
“Then what are you proposing?”
“That we make our own vows, here and now, on sacred ground. Vows that are true and that we will keep, so that we might at least start this marriage on the same page.”
“The ceremony—” she began.
“Can wait.” Tobias ran a hand through his hair, his eyes searching her face. “This is important, Rowen. Our marriage is not like your first. We are not marrying for love, but we both know that. We need not build a foundation solely on lies. What we say to each other out here will be the real union. That will be the truth. What happens in the church is just a performance.”
“How sacrilegious,” she teased, and an emotion flitted across her face too quickly for him to decipher.
“We would hardly be the first to do such a thing. Besides, you and I both know that you have no intention of honoring your vows either.” He arched an eyebrow at her, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Unless you were planning to obey and serve me once we were wed?”
Rowen let out a small chuckle. “I think you know the answer to that already.”
“So what do you say?” He cocked his head.
He waited for several moments while Rowen gave his offer some thought. Eventually, she nodded. “Fine, you have convinced me.”
“I, Tobias Rothwell, the Duke of Erindale and Colonel of the Great British Army, make these vows to you, Lady Rowen Berrymore, Dowager Countess of Irving,” he began as he clasped her hands between his.
Her eyes widened at his touch, and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
She arched an eyebrow at him. “So formal?”
“Of course. I would not want you to think I was not taking this seriously.” He grinned. “Now, My Lady, I believe I have some vows to make.”
He let his smile fade and looked into her eyes. His heart was thudding hard against his ribs. The air around them was heavy, expectant, as though it was listening to their words.
