Page 46 of Please Send Snow
It feels good to think they believe in me. Though I realize belatedly that they obviously set this upbeforeI showed up here without Jake.
Hopefully I can gain their confidence again tomorrow.
I kick off my beautiful new boots and put my bags of clothing in the corner, thinking about Jake again.
It was so kind of him to get me back on my feet with clothes. And he paid me too, so if I need anything else urgently I can take care of it myself, as long as it’s something small. I pull the bills out of my pocket to see what I’m working with.
For a moment I just stare down at them in shock.
There are only a few of them but these arebigbills.
I feel my heart start to pound again. This is too much. It’swaytoo much. It’s not appropriate for a day and a half of babysitting.
I shove the money back in my pocket and get ready for bed, trying my best not to think about it.
When I slip under the comforter a few minutes later and close my eyes, I find myself back at the fire pit, laughing and making mountain pies with Dylan, while Jake’s blue eyes follow me.
There’s something between us, I’m sure of it, a pull that isn’t just me crushing on my new boss. He’s attracted to me too. He was going to kiss me.
Then another thought occurs to me, and all my happiness turns to ash in my mouth.
He gave me those nice clothes and all that money.
Did he expect something more than babysitting in return?
I really, really don’t want it to be true. But it’s hard to get to sleep after that.
12
JAKE
Dylan and I arrive at the lodge the next morning a little later than usual. I went for a quick run before showering this morning and putting on a nice suit. I may be in the middle of Mount Nowhere, but I’m still a professional, and I’m not going to take video calls in my sweats.
I park the SUV, telling myself that our delay is just giving Maddie some much-deserved time to write. But if I’m being honest, I’m mostly just afraid that I wrecked things with her last night, and I’m only putting off the inevitable moment when she tells me she doesn’t want to help out anymore.
As I hop out of the SUV and open the door for Dylan, I go over it all in my head again, everything that happened before she took off, searching for hidden signs or deeper meanings.
But I know the truth, no matter how much I want to deny it, and it’s very simple.
She read me like a book. She could tell that I wantedto kiss her and it made her uncomfortable. And she’s not wrong. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than I wanted to kiss Maddie Foster last night.
I’m ashamed of myself. She’s the best thing that’s happened to Dylan in forever, and I’m ruining it. I doubt she will even come back with us today. And what will I tell Dylan if that’s the case?
“I can’t wait to see Maddie,” he tells me, holding my hand as we climb the steps up to the porch. “We’re going to write to Santa.”
He’s so happy, and the air out here is cold and sweet. Finding Maddie was a gift, and it should have been the easiest thing in the world to keep her around. But leave it to me to mess up something this simple.
“That’s great, buddy,” I tell him. “But if she’s too busy, I can do it with you.”
“She’s too busy?” he echoes, looking devastated.
“No, no,” I tell him, backtracking. “I just meant that if we get here one of these days and she’s wrapped up in her book, then we can let her write and you and I can write to Santa together.”
“Okay,” Dylan says, like he’s throwing me a bone. I guess he thinks that scenario is pretty unlikely.
I like that he’s sure of her. Hopefully he’s right to be.
I open the door, releasing a blast of warm air and the scent of a wood fire.
