Page 34 of Please Send Snow
“You didn’t look me up on the internet before you took this job?” he asks, without turning to me.
“ShouldI have?” I ask, suddenly feeling a little nervous.
“I’m not a serial killer,” he says with a wry smile, finally turning to me. “Just a guy who made a couple of bad business decisions.”
“Can you push me on the merry-go-round?” Dylan suddenly yells, running up to us before I can think of any follow-up questions.
Not that it would really be appropriate for me to ask. Besides which, whatever decisions Jake made, he doesn’t exactly seem to be hurting for money.
Maybe it’s just that being in charge of something really big is a challenge. My dad definitely struggled with it. He was always an artist at heart. He never meant to be the owner of a massive global business.
“Of course I’ll push you,” I tell Dylan.
He blasts off for the merry-go-round and I trail after him.
Jake comes with us, and I’m not sure why, but that makes me really happy.
Dylan hops right up onto the metal circle and grabs onto one of the rails.
“Get on, get on,” he yells to his dad.
“It’s not really for grown-ups,” Jake says, frowning.
I grab a rail and start running in a circle, then let go and watch as Dylan clings on, an expression of joy and terror on his little face. I remember that feeling from when I used to ride this thing.
When it starts to slow down he laughs and laughs.
“That was sofast,” he pants. “It’ssofast. Get on, Maddie.”
He’s looking at me with so much hope that I find myself clambering on without a second thought.
“Yay,” Dylan yells. “Nowyoupush us, Dad.”
Jake smiles grimly and grabs the rail.
Suddenly, I’m aware of the real significance of his broad shoulders and big arms.
“Hold ontight, Dylan.” I have just enough time to warn the little fellow before Jake has the merry-go-round flying so fast it feels like it might lift off and launch us into space.
“Wheeeeeeeeee,”Dylan yells, like a kid in a cartoon.
As we flash past Jake, I can see that he’s wearing a crooked smile, and for the second time in ten minutes, I feel like I’m seeing the real man instead of the mask.
My stomach twists and I feel a little lightheaded.
And I’m not entirely sure it’s because of the merry-go-round.
9
MADDIE
We head home not too long after the merry-go-round ride, and as soon as we get there Jake disappears into his office.
I’m actually relieved for a little distance after the way I was feeling back at the park. But I try to remind myself that I’ve had a wild year. After so much struggle, it’s perfectly natural to get weird feelings when someone is being kind.
Of course, I didn’t get all lightheaded when Michael was kind to me. But that line of thinking won’t help. And besides, I have a little boy to entertain.
Dylan and I get cleaned up, and then we play hide-and-seek for a while, which proves to be a challenge. It’s not exactly easy to hide in this place. Sure, it’s enormous, but there’s almost no furniture. I feel like I’m chasing Dylan around a museum or something, and there is an awful lot of pretending that I don’t see him when he’s crouched behind a floor lamp or an ottoman.
