Page 40 of Embedded
He took the mug I offered him and settled onto the island stool. “Depends on what you mean by good.”
“Is it the kids?” They seemed to finally have accepted their mother’s death, at least outwardly. It would be years, if ever, for them to completely heal. I knew behind closed doors it was probably a different story.
“No,” he chuckled, “for once, it’s not them.” He rubbed his forehead. “Liza wants more,” he blurted, and I felt my body sag with sadness. Keith, rightfully so, had put his kids first after Lexi’s passing, then he finally met someone, but we all knew he wasn’t ready. He and Lexi had been together since they were teens. Even when she pushed him away, he refused to accept it and fought for her. A relationship like that didn’t just go away. A whole piece of who you were was stripped from you.
“What’d she say?”
“Just that she wanted more,” he huffed. “She doesn’t play mind games, I’ll give her that. She just comes out and says what she’s feeling.” He paused. “God, that’s refreshing, but terrifying at the same time.”
“Agreed.” I sipped my coffee. “What did you say?”
“That we should talk in person. She deserves to hear it face to face.” He sighed heavily. “She wants to meet the kids.” I frowned. I knew he wasn’t ready for that, and I doubted the kids would be either. “I just got Brandon back on track. I mean, you’ve seen him training with us. Christ, he’s a better soldier at his age than I was. Regan is finally participating in school and just joined the soccer team.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t risk rocking that boat. I’ve worked so hard with them.”
“Then don’t.” I leaned toward him. “If Liza likes you as much as it seems, then she’ll get it. But she has to remember you had a family way before she ever came into the picture. That your kids will always come first. You say she’s a straight shooter, so be one back.”
“Yeah,” he sipped his coffee, “you’re right.”
I heard a tiny cough and turned to find Abby with Chase in her arms.
“Look who woke up in time to say goodbye.” She brought him over to me, and I smiled at his little army tank jammies.
“Good morning, big guy.” I rubbed his back as he coughed again. “How are you feeling?”
“His lungs are still congested, and he needs to eat more, but he’s better each day.” Abby handed him to me, and Chase looked up at me, wide-eyed. “Have you seen Nicole yet this morning?” She eyed me up.
I waited for Chase’s bottom lip to stick out, but he just stared at me, a bit unsure. That was okay; that was progress.
“I’ll leave you to him.” Keith ruffled Chase’s hair. “Morning, bud. Hey, thanks for the ear.” He made an apologetic face.
“Anytime.” I smiled at him. Then I addressed Abby’s question, as she had put her hands on her hips. “Not yet.” I handed Chase a rubber giraffe that I took from the island. Savannah had gotten it for him. He jammed it in his mouth without a thought. “Are you hungry, buddy?” I took the mashed strawberries Abby handed me and sat at the table. I leaned over and plunked Chase in the kiddie seat that I knew had been Olivia’s.
“I just wish I knew what he ate before he came to us,” Abby huffed. “We’ll just have to try different things. We’ll start small and work our way up.”
I nodded and held a spoonful of the strawberries to his lips, but he just turned his head away. I tried to remember the few babies I’d been around as Eric Noah. I’d missed most of the baby stages at the house.
“Come on, little guy,” I moved the spoon around, “here comes the Blackhawk.” I made a funny noise like propellers cutting the wind with my mouth, and to my absolute delight he smiled. “Oh, do you like that noise?” I made it again, and he made a little squeak, and I took the opportunity to gently slide the spoon into his mouth. His brows went up as he spat it back out. He let out a cry and rubbed his eyes and nose with both fists, smearing the berries all over his face. “Chase, you have to eat.” I switched to Spanish to see if that would work. It didn’t.
His gaze moved off me, and he bounced in his chair. I didn’t have to turn to know Nicole was coming up behind me. “Mama!” He reached his arms out as she came to sit next to me.
“There’s my big boy!” Nicole kissed his head. “Are you eating for Paul?”
He nearly wiggled out of his seat as he lunged toward her. She swooped him up, and he rubbed his head all over her face.
“Eww, someone is affectionate today.” She laughed and grabbed a napkin to wipe his face then her own. Abby laughed as she put a plate of avocado toast, sliced bananas, and a hardboiled egg in front of Nicole. “Oh! Thank you, Abigail.”
“Of course, dear.”
Nicole looked at me as Chase settled on her lap. He really was attached to her. I understood it; she was something special. Just as his mother had been. Talya. I flinched at the pain even the thought of her name brought. I hated that Chase would never know who his mother was. With that came the thought that I prayed he’d never know his blood mingled with that of the Cartel. Although the logistics of that were beyond the scope of my imagination. It would be hard to shield him from it as he got older, and now there was a video circulating.
One day at a time.
“You okay? You look sad.”
I slammed the lid closed on Talya and forced myself to be in the present. “Yeah, just lots on my mind.”
She nodded as she bit into her toast. Chase seemed to find that interesting, and when she set the toast down on her plate to take a drink, he snagged it.
“Hey, you little thief.” She laughed as he jammed it into his mouth with a giggle. She broke off a small piece and held it out to him as she pried the bigger piece from his tight little fist. She was a natural mother. Then she started to eat the slices of banana. She didn’t use her fork, just picked up the slices and put them in her mouth. Just like before, he watched her then went in for a slice for himself.
