Page 103 of Cuffed By Your Love
“This one.” I choked. “It feels like it’s mocking me.”
“No, baby,” Dr. Scott said. “That’s not mockery. That’s clarity. The things you’re carrying—his demons, your cousin’s betrayal, the weight of his downfall—those don’t belong to you.”
The tears fell fast.
“I stayed with him for two years,” I whispered. “Two whole years, and I had no idea what demons Kam was fighting. What kind of woman doesn’t see the signs? What kind of person puts her own jealous-ass cousin in his path? She was gasoline, and I handed her the match. He went from damaged to destructive, and I feel complicit. And I still… I still pray for his peace.”
Dr. Scott shook her head. “You loved who he pretended to be. Don’t punish yourself for not being able to see through the mask.”
I gripped the stone from last time like it was keeping me tethered.
“And Elias,” I whispered. His name felt heavy in my chest. “He’s so good. Too good. He protects me, loves me, shows up for EJ like it’s easy. He looks at me like I’m the best thing he’s ever touched. And all I can think is, what if he’s wrong? What if loving me ruins him? What if my trauma is a target on his back?”
My hands shook. “Sometimes I want to push him away. Not because I don’t want him. God, Ido.But because loving me feels dangerous. Like my damage is contagious.”
Dr. Scott’s gaze sharpened. “You don’t get to play God, Jonay. You don’t get to decide who is allowed to love you or how much of you they can handle. That man is not loving you by accident. He is loving you on purpose.”
Her words cracked something inside me.
“But why me?” I sobbed. “Why would anybody choosethis? A woman who second-guesses herself every five minutes, who jumps at shadows, who cries in bathrooms so her man won’t see?”
Dr. Scott leaned forward, her voice cutting like the truth did. “Because you’re not giving him enough credit. Elias doesn’t want perfect. He wantsyou.The bruised and the brave. The broken and the beautiful. The woman who thinks she’s too much but is exactly enough.”
I stared at her, stone hot in my hand, throat raw with disbelief.
“Say it,” she said.
“I… I am enough.”
“Again.”
“I am enough.”
“Again.”
This time, I said it louder, the words trembling but defiant. “I. Am. Enough.”
Something shifted in me. Not healed. Not whole. But fighting.
Dr. Scott passed me another card.I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.
And for the first time, I thought maybe I could believe it.
By the third session, I thought I was armored up. Sunshine bear propped in EJ’s room. Elias’s hoodie smelled like safety on my shoulders. My grounding stone was tucked deep in my purse.
But grief was a sneaky bastard.
I sat down, and silence pressed against me like a too-tight seat belt. I stared at the quote on the wall.You can’t heal what you won’t reveal. My throat burned.
Dr. Scott watched me carefully. “There’s something you’re still carrying. Let’s talk about it.”
My jaw locked. My voice was small. “My cousin. Taleah.”
Her name was poison and memory at once.
“She’s gone,” I said, words tumbling like rocks. “Dead. And I don’t feel anything. Not grief. Not rage. Just… nothing. And that makes me feel like shit because we grew up together. She was my first playmate, my first secret-keeper. But she spent her whole life competing with me in secret. Always trying to one-up me. And when Kam chose me, she found her chance and took it. That’s who she was. And now she’s gone, and I’m numb. What kind of person doesn’t cry when their own blood dies?”
Tears finally welled, guilty and hot.
