Page 65 of Take It Till You Make It
We sit in silence as the sun disappears, taking the light show with it. I’m about to suggest we go back to the apartment when Crispin clears his throat.
“I thought…the other day…um.”
I cock my head, waiting.
“Are you okay? The other day, you came in upset and…” He drives his fingers into the sand on either side of him. Pulls them out, drives them in again.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, from what I understand, that’s just gonna happen from time to time.”
He glances at me. “You seemed like you were doing well. Moving on.” He shakes his head. “Man, this sounds so thoughtless. I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m sorry.”
His fingers are driving in and out of the sand and the pace of a jackhammer at this point. I place my hand on his wrist, and his movement stills. “It’s okay, Crispin. I understand what you’re saying. I am moving on in some aspects, but I wasn’t in others. It was actually this evening that set me off.”
He spins to face me, concern on his face. “What?”
My hand is hovering where it used to be resting on his arm, so I pump it up and down. “Calm down. Not because of you specifically.” I sigh. “Well, yes, because of you, but…” I sigh. “Thank goodness for best friends. Glory helped me to understand that I was resisting this part of my life because Dad wasn’t here to witness it or help me through it. The movie thing was easy to decide on because the acting was something we shared. I know without a doubt he would have supported this decision.”
Crispin’s body has relaxed, but he’s still half turned toward me. “But dating is a different story?”
I blush because I still have such a hard time accepting that Crispin Moorewantsto date me, even though I cooked the man dinner tonight. “Yeah. I didn’t date at home. In a small town, you know everyone and remember when they ate their boogers. It’s weird.”
He chokes on a laugh. “Okay.”
“But Glory’s the one who made me see that part of my problem was I was afraid to move on without him.” I blow a raspberry as a wave of emotion threatens to spill a few tears. “But there will be a lot of life events that I’ll experience without him now, and avoiding them won’t bring him back. She said that moving forward honors the time we spent together, the things he taught me, the way he loved me.”
My voice quavers, and Crispin takes my hand. The security of it feels like a full-body hug. I smile through my tears at our joined hands.
“I’m glad you have such a smart best friend.”
Now I’m laughing through my tears. “Yeah, she’s a bit of a freak, though. When we hung up that day, she suggested I go attack you with my mouth.”
At first, he frowns, but then he laughs. “I definitely like her.”
I tip my face up and use my free hand to carefully wipe away tears without smudging my makeup. I mean, I flipping put makeup on for this guy, I don’t want to ruin it. “I miss her so much. We talk most weekdays and text several times a day, and somehow that isn’t enough.” I blink. “Do you have a best friend?”
One side of his mouth tips up. “It’s pretty corny, but my sister is my best friend.”
“Oh, I really love that, actually.”
“I have a million acquaintances and some people I’m closer to than that, but whenever I thought I’d connected with someone enough to think I could rely on them unconditionally, they would end up selling me out in one way or another. So far, Claire hasn’t done that.”
“Do you see your family often?”
“Oh yeah. At least once a week. We get together every Sunday. But I stop in regularly for different reasons. My house isn’t too far from them.”
“You have a house? Like a full-on single-family dwelling? I always pictured a townhome or something.”
“You’re right. I’m a penthouse kind of guy. I really love a good view.”
“You and your sunsets.”
His cheeks pink, and he looks embarrassed to admit. “I actually have a few.”
I squint. “Homes? Like, you collect living dwellings?”
“You know, tax breaks and all.” He shrugs. “If you ever want to go skiing in Vale, you can crash at my place. Or are you a snowboarder? Because I’ve got a place in Bend, too.”
I shake my head. “I don’t do either of those things. Dang, that’s crazy. See, this is why I don’t understand why we’re sitting here together right now.”
