Page 40 of Bookish Boys Don't Date Social Girls
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why did you turn me down for dinner?” As soon as thequestion is out of my mouth, I regret posing it. There’s no turning back once I know the answer.
Brent’s gaze immediately shifts away from mine and lands on his sandwich. A flush creeps from his neck up to his cheeks. “You know. You’re so experienced with dating and I’m…” he shrugs. “Not.”
I gnaw on the inside of my lip. Definitely not the answer I expected, and maybe not the answer I wanted to hear, but I’m not sure I truly understand. “What do you mean experienced?”
I hold my breath as I watch him grow seven shades of red.
“Come on, Sam. You’ve dated all those guys.” He’s spinning what’s left of his sandwich as if he’s looking for the perfect next bite.
“Dated being the key word. You realize that, right?”
Brent glances at me with his now too familiar scowl on his face. “What do you mean?”
This conversation is so awkward, and I flush with heat again. I don’t even know if it’s embarrassment or anger flooding through me. My fists clench in my lap, and I shift so I’m angled more toward him. I don’t want anyone else to hear this. “I don’t know what kind of reputation I’ve earned out there, but I’m beginning to suspect it isn’t what I deserve.”
Brent drops his chin like he’s ashamed, but he’s definitely listening.
“The way I’ve always approached dating was to go out with a guy one or two times. If, after the first date, there isn’t an obvious connection, I don’t go on a second date. If there are no sparks flying after the second date, I don’t go on a third.”
Brent’s brow furrows further, but he stays quiet. He seems to be staring at my purse, which rests on the counter in front of me.
“Brent, I think I’ve kissed maybe four boys, tops, and theywere all tame kisses. So, if experience means to you what I suspect it means, I don’t have it.”
He releases the death grip on his sandwich and sets it on the small plate in front of him. His hands shake as he pulls them into his lap. “Really?”
A large breath escapes me. It contains all the frustration and anger that I’m feeling, and I think I see Brent flinch away from me. But then he surprises me.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I don’t mean to doubt you. You have no reason to lie to me.”
The words make me pause. They’re good words, but he’s still not looking at me, so does that mean he doesn’t believe me? “Look, Brent, I don’t know what you’ve heard or assumed about me, and I don’t want to know. I’ve decided to change my dating philosophy anyway, because I think I’ve been hiding behind it somehow. Using it to avoid making a real connection. You can believe me or not, it doesn’t matter. I think you’re cute and wanted to go to dinner with you. That’s all. If that makes you feel like you will suddenly be expected to perform, and you aren’t comfortable with that, then I accept your refusal and we can move on. You’re a good book geek for me to know, so I’m not going to stop asking you questions about books. I’ve got a lot to learn.”
I slide off my stool, suddenly desperate to be away from him. As I’m fumbling with the stack of books, he reaches out and rests a hand on my wrist.
“Wait,” he says.
Humiliation has me shaking all over. Frustrated tears burn behind my eyes. I hate having to defend myself like this, and I desperately want to get away from him and lick my wounds. But instead, I pause, hands gripping the stack of books in case I need to dash away after all.
“I haven’t really dated anyone before at all. Even if allyou’ve done is go out on first dates, it’s still more than I’ve done.”
I sigh and plop back onto my stool. I place my hands in my lap and stare at the stack of books in front of me. “Well, I’ve clearly been doing it wrong, so it isn’t as if I can help.”
A surprised laugh bursts out of him. “I doubt you’ve been doing it wrong. Not if you have guys like Chris pining for you.”
It’s my turn to puff out a laugh. “He’s not pining for me, Brent. He’s teasing me.”
Finally, Brent shifts and locks gazes with me. “Chris is definitely pining for you. He’s totally got a thing for you. You are all we ever hear about during practice.”
I squint. “For real?”
The corner of Brent’s mouth curls up while his eyes narrow. “Man, you are nothing like I expected.”
I open my mouth to…what…balk? Laugh? I’m not sure how to react, so I close it again. Does he mean that in a good way? Do I want to know? Did he expect a self-assured person and he’s surprised to find an insecure one? It seems like there is too much to overcome with Brent.
His gaze shifts to the register and then he checks his watch. “Shoot, I have to get back to work.” He takes a huge bite of his sandwich and washes it down with soda. “Sorry.”
