Page 6 of Finding Our Tomorrow
“My insurance covered a portion of it, but not all, and then there were follow up visits and radiation and the medications. Unlike the hospital which allows you to make payments, the private facilities require payment at the time of visit.”
“Jesus, Willow.” Jax sighs. “You should’ve said something. Are you okay now?”
“I am. I’m done with all the treatments and as of right now, I’m cancer free. I’m saving for a place now.”
Jax stares at me for several beats before he says, “You’re staying here.”
“Tonight?” I ask, confused.
“No, indefinitely.” I open my mouth to argue, but he shakes his head. “I have a three-bedroom, three-bathroom place to myself. I’m not taking no for an answer.” He lifts a brow, daring me to argue.
“Okay, on two conditions.”
“You’re giving me conditions when I’m offering you my home to live in for free.” He throws his head back in a laugh, and I find myself smiling at how sexy he looks when he laughs.
“My first condition…” I raise my voice so he can hear me over his laughter, and he stops. “My first condition is I pay for half of the bills.”
Jax is already shaking his head. “Not happening. Next condition.”
I huff in frustration. “My other condition is that you’re not allowed to get attached to me. It’s inevitable we’ll hook up, and I have no doubt it will be hot as hell, but that’s all it can ever be. No friendship, no relationship.”
Jax stares at me for several seconds before he busts out laughing again. “Are you serious right now?”
“Yes, very.” I give him a dry look, so he knows I don’t think what I said is funny, nor do I think it’s necessary he laughs at what I said.
“Oh, Willow…” Jax steps forward. “One, we’re not hooking up. In case you forgot, I stopped it from happening tonight, and two, we are going to be friends. I know exactly what you’re doing, and unlike your piece of shit ex, I’m not going to allow it to happen.”
When I give him awhat the hell are you talking aboutlook, he says, “Your mom and dad died from cancer. Then you got cancer. Now you don’t want marriage or kids. You don’t want friends. You would rather be homeless than lean on other people…” He steps towards me. Out of instinct, I step back, but the kitchen is small and my back hits the edge of the counter.
Jax presses his body against mine and pushes a wet strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re pushing everyone away, Willow. If you make no connections, nobody can mourn your loss if you die.”
I swallow the boulder-sized lump in my throat because he’s right and we both know it. Breast cancer wasn’t the first cancer my mom was diagnosed with. It was just the one that killed her. Then there’s my aunt who died from ovarian cancer, and my uncle who died from brain cancer…
“I’m not letting you push me away,” Jax says, his voice filled with conviction. “You’re going to live here as long as you need to, and I’m going to be your friend. When you need someone to lean on, I’ll be here. Got it?”
My head is telling me to run. Run far and run fast. But my heart, the organ that’s craving a connection I’ve denied myself for too long, is begging me to stay, and like the fool I am, I go with my heart. “Got it.”
We head back upstairs, but before I can enter my own room, Jax’s hand lands on my shoulder. “You’ve been alone long enough, Willow. Why don’t you come sleep in my bed with me?”
Wordlessly, I allow him to take my hand in his and guide me down the hall to his room. We both climb into his bed and shuffle under the covers. At first, it’s awkward, especially since not even a few hours ago we were very close to fucking. But then Jax lifts his arms and scoops up my body, dragging me closer to him. My arm drapes across his torso and my face snuggles into the curve of his shoulder. His fingers run up and down my spine and my eyelids begin to flutter closed. For the first time in too long, I not only feel connected to someone, but I feel safe.
CHAPTER FIVE
JAX
What kindof fucking man kicks a woman out when she’s already at her lowest point? When she’s just found out she has cancer and is scared for her life? A selfish piece of shit, that’s who. I never met Willow’s ex, but if I ever find out who he is and see him somewhere, you better fucking believe I’ll beat the shit out of him.
I hate that Willow went through having cancer, having surgery, and then all of the treatments alone. Looking back at the past year, it all makes sense now. So many times, I would find her at the shop early in the morning. She was given a key for early appointments, and I would bet she’s used the bathroom to rinse off and brush her teeth. After she came back from her vacation, she didn’t look well rested at all. Not like you should look when you’ve just spent weeks relaxing and enjoying your time off. She looked tired, but I didn’t even think to ask questions. She’s always kept to herself. Sure, we all get along. She’s one of us. But looking back, she’s always kept everyone at a safe distance. Close enough for us all to know she’s a good person, but far enough away that we never really got to know the parts she chose to keep hidden.
Tonight, at the club, she laughed and joked with everyone. They all knew her name, and it was clear she got along with everyone, but she never actually conversed with anyone. She uses them to have a good time. To have a connection without actually connecting. She’s so scared of dying, she won’t let anyone in.
“When I told him that kids were no longer in my plan, and neither was marriage, he dumped me.”
Any smart person can see that Willow was pushing him away in hopes that he would pull her closer. She needed someone strong to hold her tight when she felt like she was drifting away, but instead he cut the rope and let her go. Because he’s weak and doesn’t deserve her.
My alarm buzzes letting me know it’s time to get up. I have an appointment coming in first thing this morning. Willow’s side of the bed is empty, so she must have gotten up earlier.
After showering and getting dressed, I head downstairs. The aroma of coffee wafts in the air, and when I reach the kitchen, I find Willow standing in front of the machine with two cups of coffee in her hands.
