Page 9 of Finding Our Tomorrow
Her hands find my hair and she tugs me against her pussy, grinding herself on my face until her orgasm has passed. When she lets go, I look up at her. Our eyes meet, and I swear my heart actually skips a fucking beat. Her lips are swollen from our kissing and her sucking my dick. Her nipples are red from me biting them. Her eyes are hooded over. Her hair is ruffled like she’s just been fucked even though she hasn’t been. She looks gorgeous, and my only thought is I need to make this woman mine.
Crawling up her body, I take her face between my hands, careful not to press my weight on top of her. As if she knows exactly what I’m thinking—or maybe she’s just thinking the same thing I am—she reaches down and grabs my dick, guiding me into her.
Her pussy is wet and warm, and even though I just finished fingering her, my dick still stretches her out good. Our mouths fuse, and our tongues unite. With my arms on either side of her head, and my hands still cradling her face, I kiss and fuck Willow slowly, deeply. And unlike the frenzied way we both came a few minutes ago, this time we take our time. I make sure I don’t come until Willow does, and only once she’s moaning and her insides are clenching around my dick, do I let myself follow behind.
When we both come down from our orgasms, and our breathing has calmed, I pull out of Willow and roll to the side so we’re both lying on the couch. It’s not big, but that’s okay because I like her body snuggled up against mine.
After a few minutes, Willow breaks the silence. “I think this was a mistake, Jax.”
I take her face and tilt it up to look at me. “No, it wasn’t.”
“We were supposed to be friends,” she says. If I thought she really meant that, I would backtrack and apologize, but I know why she’s saying this—to push me away. She felt what I felt. The connection. I watched it happen with my brother and Celeste when they were younger, and then later when they found each other again, but I never thought it would happen to me. I had accepted some people just aren’t meant to fall in love. I have my family, my friends, my tattoo shop. I thought I was okay being unattached. Until now. Until Willow.
It’s only been twenty-four hours since she stepped out of the bathroom in the shop and opened my eyes, but I already know she’s the one.
“Jax,” she prompts when I don’t say anything—too lost in my own thoughts. “This thing—”
Not wanting to hear every reason she’s about to spew in an attempt to push me away, I cover her mouth with mine. We kiss for a brief moment before I pull back.
When she opens her mouth, I cover it with my hand. “No, I have something I need to say and you’re going to listen.” Needing to look her in the eyes, I sit us up and pull her naked body onto my lap.
“This is probably the craziest thing I’ve ever said to anyone,” I admit. “And I don’t know what’s come over me, but I know the words I’m about to speak are one hundred percent true, and I need you to know that.” She nods once, but thankfully keeps quiet.
“Willow, you’ve been through so much, and you went through it all on your own. Your parents having cancer. Then you having to make the scary decision to have a hysterectomy when you found out you also had cancer. I don’t blame you for pushing people away. I get it. You’re scared. What if you get cancer again? What if someone else you love gets cancer?
“The thing about life is that nothing is a sure thing. We could walk out on to the sidewalk and get hit by a car. But that doesn’t mean we live our life alone. You toasted last night to today, but are you even living for today if you don’t let anyone in?”
Willow’s face softens. She swallows thickly, but doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “You don’t have to be alone…Wedon’t have to be alone. I’m almost forty years old. I’ve dated dozens of women, but I never saw a future with a single one of them. It wasn’t until you stepped out of that bathroom that I realized it was because I was waiting for the right woman. You. I want to be the guy who you live today with. But more than that, I want to be the man who helps you find your tomorrow.”
Willow gasps and a tear trickles down her cheek. “I don’t know if I can give you that,” she admits softly. “I’m so scared.”
Framing her face in my hands, I give her a soft kiss to her lips. “How about you just give me today? We’ll take it one day at a time, but instead of doing it alone, we’ll do it together.”
“Okay,” she whispers. “Today. Together.”
CHAPTER SIX
WILLOW
My head is spinningwith everything that’s happened. Everything Jax has said. I don’t know where up is at this point, but I think I’m okay with that. He wants to live in today with me, and if I’m honest, I really want to live in it with him. I was never one to believe in love at first sight, and I’m not saying I’m in love with him, plus, I’ve known him for two years… But there’s something there between us, and I would be stupid to allow my fear of the future to stop us from seeing where things go. But first, he needs to know a couple of things.
“No marriage,” I blurt out. When his brows furrow, I explain. “Marriage means forever. I can live in today with you, but marriage is off the table. So, if that’s something you want, you need to know it’s never going to happen.”
Jax nods once. “I understand. No marriage.”
“And I don’t want any kids.”
“There are other ways of having kids,” he says softly.
“If you want kids, you need to walk away now,” I tell him. “I don’t want kids. Kids are attachments, dependents, and if something happens to one of us, they will be left without a mom or a dad. No kids. Ever.” I choke out the last word.
Jax’s gaze flits back and forth between my eyes, then he nods. “No kids. Just you and me. Today.”
My chest tightens, squeezing my heart. “If you change your mind, it’s okay,” I tell him, needing him to know he always has an out. “I’ll never change my mind, but if you do… if you want marriage and kids, all you have to do is tell me and I’ll understand.”
“Okay,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. “If anything ever changes, I’ll tell you.” He presses his lips to mine. “We already missed the movie, but how about we get cleaned up, go grab some takeout, and we can go home and rent a movie.”
“That sounds good.”
