Page 111 of Playing for Keeps
I frown. It matters to me.
Without hesitating, I press on her name and lift the phone to my ear. Seconds later, she answers.
“Hey,” she breathes.
“Hey,” I say, my heart kicking up just at the sound of her voice. “You look incredible in my jersey.”
A laugh drifts through the line. “Thanks. You look pretty incredible without your shirt.”
I chuckle. “Tell me what you meant, Ivy. How you saw yourself in that picture,” I say gently.
There’s a pause, and when she speaks again, her voice is quieter. “It doesn’t matter now, Wyatt.”
“Please. I want to know.”
I hear her sigh, followed by the soft rustle of sheets as she moves around in my bed. And then the silence stretches out, but I wait, giving her the space to find her words.
“Ivy,” I say softly, coaxing her when the silence stretches too long. I know she doesn’t want to tell me, but I can’t let it go. I need to understand.
When she made that offhand joke about messing with Ash, I’d only meant to snap a playful shot, just my hand on her leg. That was the plan. But the second I leaned in, I couldn’t stop myself. My lips brushed her neck, and for a moment, I forgot everything else. I hadn’t thought it through. I’d justfeltit.
And when I finally pulled away and saw her eyes closed, her breath caught like she’d been holding it… I let myself hope. Maybe she felt something too. And now I know she did.
“I don’t know,” she says at last, a slight wobble to her voice. “I guess I saw someone who, for once, felt… enough. Someone who was wanted.” There’s a pause. “Even if it wasn’t real, it looked like it was. And that meant something.”
“Ivy…” Her name falls from my lips, heavy with emotion. The weight of her words lodges deep in my chest. “Why would you ever think you weren’t enough?”
She exhales, the sound sharp and painful. “Because I never have been,” she says simply. “Not to a guy, anyway.”
I close my eyes for a second, my heart breaking as her words echo in my head. How long has she been putting on a show? I’ve seen her out with Ash and the girls, laughing and seemingly carefree, but the whole time, she’s been carrying that weight and no one’s noticed. I hope to God she’s talked to Ash about it.
“Ivy,”I say again.“It kills me to know you ever felt that way.”
I sit up slowly as she sighs, the air mattress creaking beneath me.
“There was this guy in college,”she says quietly.“We were never actually together, but for months, he gave me the impression that maybe something could happen between us. I finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt… and he laughed. Said I wasn’t someone he’d ever take home. His dadwas some big-shot senator, and I guess I just wasn’t the right kind of girl.”She pauses, then adds,“He made me feel like I’d never measure up. And I guess I never really shook it.”
A tight knot of rage settles in my gut. I want to go back in time, track this asshole down, and make him pay for planting that kind of doubt in her. No one should ever make her feel like she’s not worthy. Because she is. So much.
“That guy is an asshole who never deserved you. You’ve always been enough,” I say. “More than enough. You’re smart, funny, loyal, and so fucking beautiful it actually hurts. If only you could see yourself through my eyes. You wouldn’t doubt it for a second.”
“You’ve known me for twenty years, Wy,” she says quietly. “You never noticed me before.”
“Because I was an idiot.”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and I wish I were saying all of this to her face.
“I was blind, Ivy,” I say quietly. “You were always there… right in front of me. But I was too wrapped up in football, the noise, everything that felt big but really wasn’t. And now that I finally see you… I can’t unsee you. I don’t want to.”
I hear her let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I’m being so insecure and clingy,” she whispers. “It just hard to believe it’s happening.”
“You’re not being clingy,” I breathe, my heart cracking at the edges. You’re not too much. You’re everything. And this–” I pause, my voice dropping lower. “This is real. It’s happening, baby.”
There’s a beat of silence, then she asks, almost like she’s afraid to hear the answer, “Why now? Why me?”
I sit up a little, raking a hand through my hair before pressing the phone tighter to my ear.
“Because when I’m with you, it’s like I can finally breathe. Like I don’t have to keep up some version of myself for everyone else. You seeme, the real me. You make me laugh… and you make me feel like the kind of man Iwantto be.” I pause for a second, my voice dropping a little. “Ivy… I’ve felt a little lost lately. But that started to change the night of the charity auction. And the more time we spent together after that, the more I wanted to knoweverythingabout you. Now? I can’t picture my life or my future, without you in it.”
