Page 91 of The Vacation Mix-Up
“And who do we have here?”
“Riley and Riley,” Riles blurts.
Paul stops walking, cocks his head, and gives the audience a that’s-strange-as-fuck expression.
They laugh, and I grit my teeth.
Kill me now.
“Married? Brother and sister…?”
“We’re just friends,” Riles says.
He presses his lips together, his head nodding comically, and I have the sudden urge to punch him. “Okay, Riley and Riley ‘we’re just friends,’ you’re up first. What’ll it be, truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Riles answers.
Shit!
“Truth it is.” Paul grins greedily and scans a piece of paper in his hands. “If you were both the opposite sex for one day, what would be the first thing you do?”
My balls bounce into my throat.For fuck’s sake.I know exactly what I’d do… stare at myself, naked.
Riles taps her lip, then says, “Pee, standing up. Probably outside by a tree.”
A few women cheer and clap for her response, and I have to give her credit where credit is due.
Paul nods. “Fair answer. And what about you, man-Riley?”
I smirk. “Pee, sitting down.”
Riles glares at me. “Very funny.”
I shrug. “What? I would.”
“Yeah, right after you stare at yourself naked for an hour,” she chides.
Laughter bubbles in my throat.
How does she know that?
I pull the microphone back to my mouth. “Actually, yes, I would do that first. Then I would pee.”
Her eyeballs sarcastically circulate her sockets.
“What do we think?” Paul says to the audience. “Did they tell the truth?”
“Yes!” echoes throughout the theatre, and I sigh my relief.
“Stop mucking around,” Riles whisper-hisses as Paul moves on to the married couple. “If you lose this for us, I’ll lock you out of the cabin.”
“You can try.”
“Oh, I will!”
“Ease up, Riles. We’re winning.”
She lets out a muffled growl, and I chuckle. I like when she growls like a cub. It suits her.
