Page 115 of The Vacation Mix-Up
I remove my hand. “Charming.”
“That’s me. Prince effing Charming.”
“You’re not Prince Charming!” the Ohio daughter exclaims. “You’re too fat.”
“Avery!” her mother scolds. “Don’t be rude.”
Ben points at the girl. “So are y?—”
I punch his thigh, eyes wide and piercing.
“Motherf—!” He frowns at me, then shoots Avery a challenging smile. “So areyouuu… going to draw me a picture of what Prince Charmingdoeslook like?”
“Yes.” She flips over a page of her sketchbook and begins scribbling like a little maniac. “And he won’t look like you.”
Ben pokes his tongue out at her, and she returns the gesture.
“Sooo,” Riles says, glaring at Ben before turning toward Avery’s mother. “Have you enjoyed the cruise so far, Kathy?”
“I didn’t like Greenland. It smelled fishy, and there were too many bugs and dogs. Dirty place, really.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. I loved Greenland. I got to fly over a glacier, which I’m still pinching myself over.” Riles unfolds her napkin and lays it across her lap. “I agree with you about the bugs though, and I’m sure Riley does too. He ingested some.”
“Not voluntarily,” I add.
“You weren’t the only one,” Hugo says. “Manny ate a few too.”
“A few? More like a few hundred.” He takes a long sip of his wine. “I can still taste them.”
Yeah, you and me both, buddy.
“So what’s everyone’s plans in Reykjavik tomorrow?” Riles asks.
“We’re taking a tour to the Strokkur geyser,” Kathy says, her eyes scanning the dining room for a waiter. “By bus. I hope it has heating.”
Her son mumbles, “Boring.”
I’d like to tell him there are many not-so-fortunate children around the globe who wouldn’t find the things he does “boring,” but I don’t. The ungrateful little shit will learn that lesson at some point.
“We’re spending the day in the city,” Hugo offers. “What about you?”
“Riley and I are going to the Blue Lagoon,” Riles says. “I can’t wait. It’s supposed to be stunning.”
“Oh, it is. We visited there the last time we were in Iceland. Smells awful, but you get used to it after a while.”
Manny wrinkles his nose. “Awful is putting it mildly.”
Great! Sounds like will be visiting Satan’s ass.
Riles winces. “Thanks for the warning.”
Our drinks arrive in no time, so I lift my glass at Ben. “What about you? What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“I have tickets to the Iceland and Team USA FIBA friendly.”
“No shit? In Reykjavik?” I prompt.
“Yeah.”
