Page 49 of Unspoken Words
“I get it.”
“Get what?”
“I get that you don’t want to say what you feel or that some words to you are empty. I get that, deep down, we don’t need words to prove our love, that what’s in here,” I said, massaging my fingers into his chest, “and here,” I added, twitching my other hand over my breast, “speak for us.”
A small smile crept across his face.
“But,” I continued. “Words mean a lot to me. You know that. They’re not empty where I’m concerned. They could never be empty.”
He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “If you want those words so desperately, I’ll give you words. But they’ll bemywords. No one else’s.”
“All I’ve ever wanted was your words, Connor Bourke.”
“Okay,” he said, cupping my face. “You’re. My. Ever. After.”
A tear spilled down my cheek. They weren’t the words I’d expected him to say and, yet, to him, they meant more. They meant always and forever.
They were perfect.
Sinking into his arms, I let Connor cradle me for what felt like an eternity, and I realised in that moment that an eternity with him would never be long enough, that always and forever was too short.
Chapter Thirteen
Connor
Ellie was my ever afterand I knew she knew that despite my refusal to tell her I loved her because, saying so, did nothing. You could love a dog, a cat, a pizza topping, but when the thing or person you loved was gone, so were those three words, and then what good was saying them? Love had a time limit; ever after did not.
“I really like the sound of this media writing degree in Darwin,” Ellie said while tapping the page of her university career booklet.
It was Good Friday, and we were sitting on her bedroom floor, flicking through various booklets handed out by our Careers Guidance teachers. We’d just finished term one of our final year in high school, and we had some important choices to make, sooner rather than later.
I nodded toward her selection sheet. “Then put it down as your first preference.”
“What? Did you not hear me say it’s in Darwin?”
“Yes, I did hear that.”
She closed her booklet and rested it on her lap. “And you still want me to go?”
Using my finger as a temporary bookmark, I closed my booklet and gave her my full attention. “Ellie, you’re a talented writer. If the course in Darwin is the best one then you should apply for it.”
“It is, but … it’s a four-year degree. I’d have to move there. We’d be apart.”
“Not if I apply for a course in Darwin too.” I flipped open the booklet and pointed to the Bachelor of Arts - Music, degree at the same university as the writing course.
She furrowed her brow and leaned closer. “Really? But what about Melbourne Uni? I thought you had your heart set on that.”
“It’s no big deal where I go.”
“What do you mean it’s no big deal? Of course it is. Connor, this is your future. It’s what you’ve been working towards.”
“Uni is Uni, Ellie. I can study music anywhere.”
She took my booklet from me and placed it on the floor. “You need to take this seriously.”
“I am. If I study in Darwin, we can live together on campus, or maybe rent a small house.”
“That’s a big call. But, okay, say we both apply to the Northern College of the Arts, what about our families?”
