Page 138 of Unspoken Words
His fingers clenched my thighs, and every muscle in his arms and neck tensed. I braced my hands on his shoulders as heat once again climbed my body, my core tightening as my orgasm hit. Connor thrust hard and deep, spilling everything he had into me, and that was when I realised we hadn’t used protection.Shit!
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his head resting against mine, his breathing slow but course.
“I’m sorry, too.”
He pulled back, pain radiating from his misty eyes. “For what?”
“For everything. For us, for wanting you, for not letting you go when I should. For … for leaving.”
His eyes held mine for what could’ve been minutes or seconds, I wasn’t sure, before he unhooked my legs and helped me stand.
Connor tucked himself back into his jeans, and I excused myself and walked to the bathroom to clean up, dread, guilt, and a feeling of utter loss suffocating my every thought.Ellie, what have you done?
I’d done what he’d said and listened to my heart despite knowing its guidance would only destroy it and the two men it loved, and now I had to do what I’d planned on doing anyway—leave.
Walking back into the hallway, I found Connor in the spot I’d left him, his back against the wall, his head in his hands.
“I have to go,” I said, quietly.
He didn’t answer, so I stepped past him, figuring I’d just get it over and done with and leave.
Connor’s hand shot out and clasped mine, stopping me. His eyes were red, his expression so full of pain I felt every single bit of it and more.
“I have to.”
“You don’t.”
“I do.”
“That’s a crock of shit, Ellie.”
I pulled my hand free. “It’s not. Jesus. This isn’t simple and you know it.”
“It is! You and I are the simplest thing I know. We’re effortless.”
“You think this is effortless?”
“Yes! But for some reason you want us to be a tragic love story. You want to wake up every day, wondering ‘what if’ like it’s the most beautiful thing to exist. It’s not. It’s fucked.”
“I don’t want that.”
He pulled me to him and kissed me hard then pulled away, his forehead resting against mine, his hand still in mine. “I’m real, baby. Always was and always will be.”
Sobbing, I touched the side of his face. “I know you’re real. You’re the realest thing I’ve ever known.” I stepped back and let go of his hand. “But I have to go back to Darwin and make amends. I owe Byron that.”
“And what do you owe me?” he asked, his tear-soaked eyes pleading.
Walking to the door, I opened it, paused, and looked back. “I owe you me.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Connor
“Not again,” I choked out,sliding down the wall until I hit the ground.
I looked at the door, waiting, hoping it would open and she would walk back in, but she didn’t. She was gone. Again.What if she doesn’t return? What if that’s our final goodbye?
I couldn’t let this happen, Byron or no Byron. And I couldn’t make the same mistake I’d made when she left four years ago. Back then I’d had Lilah to worry about, not to mention the weight of the world on my shoulders as I stared down the barrel of fatherhood. I’d barely had to grapple with morality, unlike now.Do I go after her? But then what? She’ll leave anyway.
