Page 63 of Unspoken Words
I nodded and blinked back more tears.
“Maybe you should just go and talk to him?”
“I can’t. Not with her there.”
“Who cares if she’s there? Have you guys split or not?”
“I … I don’t know. I didn’t think so until now.”
“Clearly, you need to talk to him and get your shit straightened.”
“I know,” I whispered unable to hold back a sob.
“Hey.” Tristan touched my leg. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a dick. It’s just … if you were my girl, you’d know it. And if you weren’t, you’d know that too.”
“I’m not your girl,” I said, turning to look out the window and wishing I could just slide it open, flap my arms like before, and fly away. My stomach was twisting, my heart heavy, and for the first time in my life, I think I experienced true regret.What have I done? I drove him away.
I told myself to breathe and hold it together, focussing on the passing trees and buildings until the bus finally pulled up at Connor’s stop. The hairs on my arms stood on end like magnets as he neared my seat to leave. I knew he was there. I couldfeelhim.
But he didn’t say anything, didn’t ask me how I was or tell me how he was. He just handed me a note and … left.
I looked down at it, terrified of what his unspoken words said.
“Are you going to open it?” Tristan asked.
I shook my head and placed it in my pocket. “Not now.”
“Well, when you do, hopefully it gives you answers.” His voice was kind and sympathetic, and even so, it did nothing for the twisting in my stomach as silence settled between us and the bus took off again. I couldn’t see Connor out of the window; I didn’t even look. My heart was broken, and I felt nothing but loss and regret, and … anger.How dare he? How dare he move on and not end it with me first?How dare he write me a note and give it to me NOW? And her, how fucking dare her?
“Ellie, about the formal—”
“Huh?”
“I mean I know the timing is wrong, but I was wondering … did you want to go to the formal together?”
My eyes cautioned Tristan’s. “I don’t know. I’ve just—”
“As friends. Nothing more.”
“I was kinda planning on going solo.”
He waved his hand, dismissing my answer, and stood up before the bus had even stopped. “No sweat. I’ll probably just do the same.”
I stood up and followed, stumbling down the aisle after him. “It’s nothing personal. I’m just … I—I wouldn’t be a good date.”
He stepped off the bus, and I followed him.
“Of course you would.”
“I honestly wouldn’t, Tristan. I’m a mess right now.”
He placed his hands on my shoulders and pretended to brush them clean. “You’re not. You’re very tidy.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Say yes.”
“Say yes to what?” Lilah asked from behind.
