Page 125 of Unspoken Words
We crossed the road and rounded the corner to the local park, and I found a nice, grassy spot under a tree. “Is this all right?”
Lilah’s nose crumpled. “Not exactly. I’m wearing white.” She held the pizzas up and pivoted, showing me her very white pants. “They’ll get stained if I sit on the grass.”
I placed Max on the ground and shrugged off my jacket, laying it down for her to sit on. “Will this do?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
Max took off like The Flash toward the slide, so I ran after him and scooped him back into my arms, flipping him upside down to hold him by his ankles. “Where do you think you’re going, Mr?”
He squealed, giggled, and cried out, “Play. Play.”
“You can play after you’ve eaten some pizza.” I placed him down once again and gave him my daddy-is-the-boss face. The little monkey glared back, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s okay, sweetie, you can go and play,” Lilah said to Max.
He didn’t waste a second and ran off.
“We had a late lunch so he might not be hungry.”
“It’s seven p.m. If he doesn’t eat now, he’ll be too tired to eat later.”
She rolled her eyes and dismissed my concern. “It’s fine, Connor.”
It wasn’t fine. I knew the drill all too well, because she would rather give in to our picky, cranky toddler than to lay down—and stick to—the rules he so desperately needed at his age. She was a decent mum; loving and playful, but she was too soft and never consistent, and it infuriated me. Max needed discipline and boundaries, and he needed his mother and me to work together. Except, I was the one working and she was the one playing.
“So …” Lilah scooted a little closer and licked pizza oil from her fingers. “I’ve been thinking about us.”
“Us?” I shot her a confused look but quickly diverted my attention back to Max. I didn’t want to lose sight of him; it only took a second for a child to disappear.
“Yeah, you, me, and Maxey.”
“And?”
“Well … this is nice, don’t you think?” She gestured to the park, to the families playing soccer and throwing sticks for their dogs, to Max playing on the playground, and to us sitting and eating pizza.
“Sure.” It was a nice park.
“I want to do this more often. It’s good for Max, and for us.”
Biting into another slice of pizza, I agreed. “Okay. We can come back to the park again. No probs.”
She lifted her hand and wiped something from my chin, her finger lingering, her eyes fixed to my lips as her mouth parted. My eyebrows rose, I’d seen that look before.
Leaning forward, Lilah kissed me, and before she could deepen the kiss any further, I moved back.
“What are you doing?” I removed her hand from my jaw.
“I—I …” Her cheeks flamed. “I just thought you and I could try and be a family again. This is nice. I miss this. I want more of this.”
She avoided eye contact and pursed her lips as if she was offended by my rejection, but I knew better than to believe her act.
“For fuck’s sake, Lilah.” I tossed my half-eaten slice of pizza back into the box. “Why do you do this?”
“Do what?”
“This, deliberately cause shit?”
Her mouth formed an O. “I’m not.”
