Page 89 of Plight
“Danielle, the boy is madly in love with you. He always has been. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see that this rift between you is killing him from the inside.”
“And you don’t think it’s killing me?” I put down my fork and pushed my chair back, pacing back and forth as I gripped my hair in my hands. “He confuses me so much, Mum. One minute he’s here. All in. Guns blazin’. He’s romantic, quirky and fun. Alive. When we’re together, it’s as if we both breathe the same breath and share the same heartbeat. He moves, I move. I move, he moves. But then …” I stopped pacing and stared at her, tears flowing from my eyes. “Something happens and he withdraws, becomes distant. He pulls away without a care in the world and carries on as if nothing ever happened. I can’t deal with that, Mum. I can’t deal with the constant flip. It’s too painful. I’d rather not have at all than to have, only to lose it.”
She stood up from the table and wrapped her arms around me. “No, sweetheart. Choosing to have nothing for fear of losing what you could have is the biggest mistake anyone can make.”
“I don’t see how. You can’t miss what you never had.”
“Oh you most certainly can. Hope, Danielle. Hope cuts you deep but keeps you living. It’s what’s keeping Elliot living right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s hoping that one day you’ll realise what he already knows.”
“That’s just fucking stupid.” I shrugged out of her arms and sat back down.
“Language!”
“Sorry.”
“It’s not stupid. Why’s it stupid?”
“Because he should just open his big mouth and say what it is he wants to say. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done that.”
She sighed. “You two are more alike than you think.”
I rolled my eyes. Somehow, I just knew what she was about to say, probably because I’d heard it before, and probably because I knew it to be true.
“I knew in my heart of hearts that what you both endured when you were eight years old forged a bond that would never be broken.”
“Bonds do break, Mum.”
“No,” she said with a knowing smile. “Not this one. And I think you know it, too.”
