Page 73 of Plight
“Tortoise? Not really. But, turtle? Yes. Did you know some species of turtle breathe through their arsehole?”
Danielle burst into laughter and covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes gleaming utter mischief at me. “No, I didn’t know that, but I do now. That’s excellent! A respiratory rectum.”
“A colon cough.”
She lifted her finger. “Butt burp.”
“Ass of all trades.”
“Stop! I can’t.”
Again, her laughter filled my ears and heart, and she snorted, bending over while crossing her legs. “I’m gonna pee.”
“Shit!” I pretended to guard her with my body. “Watch out for those male giraffes.”
“Lots! I’m serious.” She snorted some more, tears finding their way onto her cheeks, and I soon found myself unable to hold back either.
A young couple pushing a pram strolled past, their curious smiles asking what the hell was so funny. I shook my head at them, as if to say I had no idea and that Danielle was a little crazy.
“Oh my God,” she wailed, gasping for a breathe. “If I laugh anymore I’m gonna be sick.”
“Well, at least I know you’re not a horse.”
“What?” her face contorted with confusion. “Besides the obvious, why not?”
“They can’t vomit.”
She breathed in and stood upright. “Of course they can.”
“Nope. Physically impossible.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You’d never have to hold a horse’s mane back. They’d be great drinking buddies.”
She shook her head and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know, Lots. Sometimes I worry about you.”
“Don’t worry about me, worry about those lionesses.”
We were about to move toward the reptile house when an idea popped into my head. “Hey! Fancy riding a horse?”
“Huh?”
I grabbed her hand, my body buzzing with excitement. “Come with me.”
We hurried back through the centre of the grounds, the fresh spring sun’s mild rays perfectly beating down on us as we approached the iconic Melbourne Zoo Merry-Go-Round.
Her smile widened. “I haven’t been on this since I was a kid.”
“Me neither.”
I paid the ticket clerk for two tickets, and we waited for the ride to stop turning before choosing our horses and climbing on.
“Which one do you want?” I asked.
She screwed up her nose. “The brown ones are ugly. I’m choosing white. Mine looks like a unicorn.”
I chose a brown one. “White ones never win.”
