Page 18 of Plight
Chris belly-laughed. “You’re engaged, kiddo. A Cheezel proposal is the real deal.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.”
Leaning forward across the benchtop, he offered me a spoon of Milo. “Do I need to keep a close eye on him for you?”
I sighed and opened my mouth so he could feed it to me. “No,” I mumbled, shaking my head and swallowing the malted chocolate heaven. “I would trust Elliot with my life if I had to. Honestly. Despite having not seen him for years, some things just never change. And although he’s physically changed, I sense he’s still the same Elliot.” Shaking my head, as if to shake the newly formed craziness from within it, I wiped the corners of my lips. “These past few days have just been a bit full on, that’s all. He’s practically come out of nowhere. I’m still processing it all.” I closed my eyes and massaged my temples to relieve the pressure that had begun to build there. “Not to mention he has a big, stupid mouth that told a big, stupid lie to our mothers.”
As if Mum shared the same psychic ability she thought I possessed, my phone rang her assigned ringtone: “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals.
I glared at the phone and groaned. “Ugh! WHY?”
Before I could bury it under my arse cheek, Chris scooped it up from the bench.
“Noooo! Don’t answer—”
“Hi, Mrs Cunningham,” he bellowed with a wink. You son of a bitch!
Chris smiled, proud of himself, but all I could do was drop my head to the bench, lift my hand, and flip him the bird.
He slapped it away and kept sweet-talking my mum. “Why did I answer your daughter’s phone? Because her hands are busy, that’s why. She’s currently practising sign language.”
I flipped him some more ‘sign language’, one I liked to call a double FU.
“I’ll tell you what, Mrs Cunningham. How about I put you on speakerphone? That way you can speak to Dani while she busily practises.” He poked at my phone screen like the cocky shithead he was and placed it back down on the benchtop.
“OH, THANK YOU, CHRISTOPHER. IS IT WORKING?”
“Yes, Mum, it’s working. You don’t need to shout. Just talk normally,” I explained.
“Oh, hello, dear. So, you’re learning sign language as well as getting engaged? Anything else you’ve failed to tell me?”
I held my fingers to my head in the shape of a gun and pretended to pull the trigger. “No, Mum.”
“That’s all you’ve got to say?”
“Yes, Mum.”
“Danielle Uma Cunningham.” Her tone was low. Disapproving.
Chris mouthed my middle name with a dirty look on his face then burst into silent hysterics, clutching his abdomen.
I glared at him.
“DANIELLE?”
“Yes, what?” I asked, snapping my attention back to Mum.
“Are you going to explain to me how it is that you’re engaged to a man I didn’t even know you were dating? Look, don’t get me wrong; I think it’s wonderful news. I’m just a little shocked, that’s all.”
Chris silent-laughed even harder and proceeded to place the back of his hand to his mouth, opening and closing his fingers like a duckbill. What the fuck is he on?
I glared some more and mouthed, ‘what?’
He pointed to me and kept quacking his hand.
“Um … Mum, can I call you back?”
“No! Danielle, I want answers. I’m your mum. I worry about you.”
