Page 17 of Plight
“Yeah.”
“Elliot was that best friend.”
“No shit?” Chris levered open the lid of the Milo tin and dipped in his spoon. “I just assumed your best friend was a girl.”
“Nope. It was Elliot.”
“Wait a minute,” he said, pulling out the spoon and pointing it at me. “Was he also the best friend that ended up moving, the one you never saw again and missed like crazy?”
I covered my eyes with my hands and peeked through my barely spread fingers. “Maybe.”
“Ha! This is all making perfect sense now.”
“What is?” I dropped my hands from my face and reached for the tin.
He yanked it away. “Why you missed your best friend so much.”
Looking to the ceiling, I searched for clarification, as if it was just dangling there above me like a monkey on a tree branch. “I don’t get it. Why does it all make sense now?”
“He’s a dude.”
“Yeah … so?”
“Dudes and chicks that are best friends can’t really be best friends until after they’ve fucked.”
I facepalmed. “Oh my God, Chris. Not everyone needs to fuck.”
“We did.”
“Annnnnnnd we don’t ever talk about that, remember?”
“Yeah, because we don’t need to. We fucked. We got it over and done with. And now we’re best friends.”
I opened my mouth to object but snapped it shut instead. He had a point. Kinda.
“Ahhh, see?” Chris heaped a massive spoonful of Milo into his mouth. “I’m right.”
“Don’t double-dip—”
The shithead double-dipped.
“Do you have to do that? It’s gross.”
“It’s all part of my Milo-making process.”
Grumbling, I didn’t argue with him, because I wanted his Milo-making process to include making me one.
“You still haven’t answered how geek boy is back on the scene. When did this happen?”
“He’s not a geek,” I reiterated through gritted teeth. “And just this week. He thinks we’re engaged.”
Chris dropped the spoon in the tin and stared wide-eyed at me. “Da fuck?”
“Well, not really. At least I don’t think he’s serious about our childhood Cheezel engagement.”
“Cheezel engagement?”
“Yeah. When we were eight-years-old, he gave me one of his Cheezels and asked me to marry him. I said yeah but that we’d have to wait until I was thirty.”
