Page 138 of Pretend You Love Me
“I’m just sore...it’s, um...”
“What?” She’s making me really worried.
“It’s just PMS.” She’s not looking at me.
“Oh.” I didn’t know you could get that sore, but I haven't talked to many women about their PMS symptoms if I’m being honest. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She shifts her body slightly to the side and leans in toward me again. It feels so good to hold her in my arms. “Is that better?”
She nods.’
“He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“But what about my mom? My sister? Where are they?”she asks.
I stroke her hair. “I don’t know.”
“What did he do to them all those years?” Her face is resting against my chest.
I don’t answer. I don’t have any answers.
“Will said you started therapy. Is it helping?” I ask.
She lets out a heavy sigh. “It feels like it’s making things worse.”
“Really?”
“Maybe it's one of those has-to-get-worse-before-it-gets-better-sort-of-things.”
I consider what I’m going to reveal for a moment, and then I say, “I started therapy a few months ago.”
“You did?” Her face is still pressed against my chest.
“I understand what you mean about how it feels worse before it gets better,” I say.
“Do you feel like you’re getting better?” She pulls back and looks up at me.
“Yeah. I do.”
She bites her lip and then says, “There’s something I need to...”
Before she can finish that sentence, Zadie walks in the room. “Oh, sorry, I’m not trying to interrupt. I’m just starving and up breastfeeding.”
Brooklyn pulls away from me, moving all the way to the other side of the kitchen and resting up against the counter. “It’s fine. I was just heading back to bed anyway.”
She’s avoiding eye contact with me.
“Okay, I’m just going to grab some toast or something,” Zadie says.
“See you tomorrow.” Brooklyn rushes toward the stairs.
“I’m heading out too. Good night.” I rush to catch up with Brooklyn.
“Night,” Zadie calls.
“Brooklyn, stop.” Her feet are already on the stairs. “Wait.”
She turns. I can tell immediately the moment has passed.
