Page 64 of Emma
“You’re not. You didn’t know, and now you do. That’s all.”
Emma’s shoulders lowered again. Vanessa watched as the weight redistributed rather than vanished. But that was the thing with big news. It didn’t dissolve. It just learned to sit differently in the body.
“You should know,” Emma said after a moment of reflection. “That if this gets messy, I’ll step back if I need to. If Ellie says it’s too complicated to keep me on Freya’s timetable, I’ll take myself off it for a while. I won’t make them ask. I’ll do the right thing.”
“Emma.”
“I won’t run away,” Emma clarified, clearly reading the storm crossing Vanessa’s face. “I won’t resign or do anything dramatic. But if being in the room makes Freya feel like she has to perform because I’m there, then it’s on me to make it easier. Even if it hurts.”
Vanessa threaded their fingers. “I don’t love the idea of you stepping back, but I love the woman who would make space if the child needed it. And I trust you and Ellie to decide what ‘stepping back’ actually means.”
Emma shrugged. “It could mean someone else takes Year 8 for a bit. It could mean I stand at the other end of the sports hall.”
“It could mean nothing at all,” Vanessa said, resting her head on Emma’s shoulder. “Because Freya may keep choosing to meet you where you are.”
“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
Vanessa wished that would be the outcome, but she wouldn’t get her hopes up just yet. Still, somewhere deep inside of her, she was beginning to feel better about this situation. On the small number of occasions she had conversed with Freya aroundschool, she didn’t get the impression that Freyawouldn’twant contact with Emma. But life could be complicated, so Vanessa would prepare for the worst. “Shall we head in? It’s getting cold out here now.”
“Yeah. Come on. I should probably start dinner.”
Hand in hand, they made their way back inside, the warmth of their home wrapping around Vanessa instantly. She turned Emma around, kissing her slowly as she held onto her hip. “You know, if you need to burn some energy later, I could probably be talked into a run or something.”
Emma lifted a brow. “You…don’t run.”
“I could jog a dignified five minutes and then cheerlead while you show off.”
Emma laughed and shook her head. “There’s a reason Year 9 thinks I’m cool.”
“My wife.” Vanessa swayed them as she grinned. “The vending machine.”
“That was rude!” Emma swatted at Vanessa’s shoulder, her eyes soft. “Thank you for doing all of this with me.”
“You didn’t ask me to step back or not do it with you.”
“I know. And I never will.”
Vanessa kissed Emma again, then touched their foreheads together. “You’re the strongest woman I know, but don’t ever think that you can’t come to me with any of this. I’llalwaysbe here for you. I love you.”
“Not as much as I love you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The corridoroutside the changing rooms smelled of sweat and that sticky-sweet fruit body mist half the girls wore like it was a compulsory part of their uniform. Emma pulled the P.E. office door shut behind her, her water bottle under one arm and her clipboard tucked beneath the other. Practice had gone well—clean passes, no faffing around on the court—and for once she didn’t have to shout above teenage chaos.
She paused and took a breath. It was almost Monday evening, and the worst part of the week was behind her…or so she thought.
Freya came out of the changing rooms alone, her hair damp and tied in a loose braid, her rucksack hanging low on her shoulder. Emma stilled. Freya hadn’t seen her yet. She was looking down, fiddling with her phone, her expression somewhere between thoughtful and tired. Emma’s stomach twisted. She’d seen that look before…on herself, in the mirror, some twenty-odd years ago. It was uncanny how much of herself she saw in Freya when she least expected it.
Then Freya looked up and paused, half-smiling.
They were only a few feet apart, and nobody else was around. The rest of the team was still in the changing room, giggling andstomping and shouting about homework, but here, in this quiet stretch of corridor, it felt like the world had narrowed to just the two of them.
“Hi, Miss.”
That formal title stung, even though it was habit and appropriate for the setting they were in. Emma smiled, doing her best to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest. “Hi, Freya.”
Emma didn’t know what Freya was aware of when it came to the meeting last Friday, and right now, she was terrified of saying too much. So, she wouldn’t say anything at all. The second she did, she would spew out anything that came to mind, and in this moment, that was dangerous.
