Page 35 of Emma
Emma folded her arms across her chest. “How old was she when you gave her up?”
Jane faltered, her fingers tightening around her cup. “She was eight when I made the decision.” Her voice cracked a little. “Eight years and eleven days old.”
Emma’s laugh was humourless. Honestly, she had nothing left. She also wasn’t sure she’d ever felt so drained of…well, everything. “You’re a selfish bitch. Youknewyou couldn’t look after her, but youstillkept her all those years. You should have given her up the day she was born. At least then, she wouldn’t have spent the first eight years of her life being traumatised like I was.”
Jane visibly swallowed as she cleared her throat. “Is she well cared for? Is she…happy?”
Emma’s nostrils flared. Jane had no right to ask how Freya was doing. Still, Emma’s heart ached at the thought of Freya. So quiet, so brilliantly kind, soalone. “She’s quiet. A lot like I was in high school. But she’s intelligent, and I know she’s going to go far in life. Wouldn’t be hard, though, given the fact she’s not stuck with two pathetic parents any longer.”
Jane nodded slowly. “I deserve that.”
Emma stared at her. She searched her face, deciding that this would absolutely be the last time she ever had contact with her mum. It was all too painful and heart-wrenching. Emma didn’t want to live her life that way, and she wouldn’t. Though she had never outright cut contact before, todaywasthe day. “I hope you can live with the decisions you’ve made.”
Emma turned away and left the house, comforted by the sound of Vanessa’s heels close behind her. She reached for Vanessa’s hand, gripping it tightly as they hurried down the garden path. She threw open the passenger door and sank into her seat, squeezing her eyes shut and giving herself a moment to breathe. The scent of Vanessa’s perfume wrapped around her, the only familiarity she felt in this moment.
“Emma, are you okay?” Vanessa asked as she settled into the driver’s seat.
Emma turned to her, crumbling the moment their eyes met. Her bottom lip quivered as unshed tears threatened to spilldown her face. “Y-yeah,” Emma said, barely above a whisper. “I’ll be okay. I just want to go home.”
Vanessa reached across the console and pressed a kiss to her cheek, smiling as she laid a hand on Emma’s thigh. “Home it is,” She drew back and started the car. Then, with a look that saidI’ve got you, Vanessa added, “Our home.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
In all theyears Vanessa had known Emma, she had never seen her like this. Her wife looked like she was falling apart, almost entirely detached from everything familiar to her. To them. Emma’s strength, the same resilience that had carried them through storms before, now seemed shattered. And for the first time in their relationship, Vanessa had no idea how to help her.
She’d known deep down that Freya being Emma’s sister was a real possibility. Everything had aligned too neatly for any other outcome. Still, a small part of Vanessa had hoped it wasn’t true. Not because she didn’t want Emma to have a sibling and not because she didn’t want Emma to be happy, butbecauseshe wanted Emma to be happy. Vanessa feared whatever came next wouldn’t be of any benefit to Emma. Freya’s family may not welcome Emma with open arms, and Emma didn’t need any more rejection in her life. She also didn’t deserve the rejection. Vanessa’s fear was that this could be the thing that would ultimately break Emma. That kind of pain…Vanessa wasn’t sure she could fix it.
The memory of Emma’s face earlier at her mum’s house still haunted Vanessa. The shock, the silence, the deep pain behind her eyes. It wasn’t just the news. It was the years she’d lost. Theaching knowledge that if she’d known, she would have moved mountains for Freya. Raised her. Loved her. Protected her. That was who Emma was, and while Vanessa would never change a thing about her wife, she did wish Emma wouldn’t hold onto the guilt. Because she would. It was inevitable.
So now, Vanessa was stuck in this unbearable place where she couldn’t fix any of this. She couldn’t lessen the severity of the past or promise the future would be kinder. Shehadto be cautious. Because even the smallest flicker of false hope could be dangerous.
She reached for her phone, the screen lighting up as she opened her messages with Lauren. There wasn’t much she could offer right now, but maybe Lauren could. Maybe Emma would talk to her.
Hi, sweetheart. I know it’s Saturday, but could you come over if you’re free? Preferably alone x
Vanessa lowered her phone to the cool marble of the kitchen island and cast her gaze over the surface. The silence in the house wasn’t peaceful. No, it was heavy and thick. Almost suffocating.
Vanessa’s phone buzzed on the counter.
What’s going on? Has something happened? Rob has just walked through the door, so I’ll drive over in ten minutes x
Vanessa hadn’t thought about how she was going to explain all of this to Lauren when she heard footsteps creeping up behind her. Emma stepped into the kitchen, her eyes unreadable and her movements calm. But Vanessa knew she was too calm. It was the kind of behaviour people exhibited when they were trying very hard not to fall apart.
“I’m going for a shower. Let me know what time you want dinner, and I’ll get that sorted.” She leaned in and kissedVanessa gently on the cheek. It was brief, but Vanessa clung to it. “And thank you for coming with me today. I appreciate it.”
“Always, baby.” Vanessa caught Emma’s hand as she started to turn away. “Are you okay?”
Emma nodded, but Vanessa knew the answer. She wasn’t okay. Not by a long shot. “I’ll be fine.”
And then she was gone. Up the stairs, the bathroom door closing behind her.
Vanessa stared at the empty doorway for a moment before her phone buzzed again.
Mum? Why aren’t you responding? Talk to me!
With a sigh, Vanessa lifted her phone and typed.
Emma has had some news recently. I think she needs her best friend to talk it out with her. She’s showering but I’ll order in and let her know you’ll be here x
