Page 24 of Emma
“Definitely.” Vanessa caught Emma’s wrist as she moved away, also getting to her feet and leaning in, capturing Emma’s lips in a heated, spine-tingling kiss. “Thank you for always asking me how I’m doing. It means more than you know.”
“You know I’m only interested in how you’re feeling. It’s important to me.” Emma knew that their communication skills had improved over the last several months. She didn’t feel on edge anymore if she dared to question Vanessa’s mood. “You go into the living room and get comfy, and I’ll bring the dessert through.”
Emma gathered the plates on the dining table and carried them towards the dishwasher. She could load it up later, once she’d relaxed for a while with Vanessa in her arms. She quickly took two spoons from the drawer and made a beeline for thefreezer. She’d picked up Vanessa’s favourite mint choc chip ice cream on the way back from a run this morning, knowing tonight was just that kind of night. It often was when Vanessa had spent the afternoon with her therapist.
When she reached the living room, the fire roaring and heating the place to perfection, Vanessa sat on the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest. It wasn’t a pose Emma had seen her in much before everything had changed, but it signalled a comfortable night for them, and Emma wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Still, it made Emma’s heart ache a little. As though Vanessa didn’t know just how beautiful she was when she let her guard down. But to Emma, Vanessa was more beautiful than ever when she allowed her vulnerability to show.
She smiled as she sat down beside Vanessa, ripping the lid from the tub of ice cream and shoving two spoons into it. “There you go. Just like that.”
“You may well bring two spoons, but Ihaveseen you dipping your finger into the ice cream before when you think nobody is looking.”
Emma laughed, shrugging as she helped herself to a spoonful. “Who says I was trying to be subtle?”
Vanessa simply smiled as they passed the ice cream back and forth. Then she cleared her throat, and Emma knew it was about to get deep again. “I…told my therapist I still have dreams about it all. I’ll be getting dressed or looking in the mirror, and everything is just the way it used to be.” Vanessa slouched against Emma. “And then I wake up and nothing is the same, and it never will be again.”
Emma frowned. This was new information. “Babe, why didn’t you tell me you’ve been having dreams?”
“I don’t know.” Vanessa stared down into the pale green ice cream, the chocolate swirls melting throughout it. “But…it’s not even about the scars. It’s more about the disconnection I feel.How can I feel disconnected from the skin I live in? It doesn’t make sense.”
Emma leaned in and kissed Vanessa’s cheek. “I’m not sure it’s supposed to make sense, unfortunately. But your body is doing the best it can for you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, it’s still yours and it still loves you. You have to love it right back.”
Vanessa turned to Emma with a softness in her eyes. “You always say things like that. Like you believe them.”
“Because I do. I find it easier to believe in you than anything else in life.”
Vanessa didn’t say anything. Instead, she reached out a hand and traced Emma’s lips with her fingertips. As though she was memorising this moment for those days when life felt heavy. “You’ve been here through it all,” She whispered. “You didn’t have to be.”
“Actually, I did.” Emma kissed Vanessa’s fingertips. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Vanessa’s hand lingered against Emma’s face for a moment or two, and then she pulled back and shook her head. “You should probably take this ice cream from me before I eat the lot, and it makes my arse huge.” Vanessa laughed, but her voice was hoarse with emotion. Emma knew when she was having a moment, and that was precisely what had just happened.
Emma rose slowly and put the lid back on the ice cream as she stopped in the doorway. She looked back at Vanessa, her knees still up to her chest, and sighed. “I mean it, babe. You’re not alone. Not ever.”
Vanessa’s lips parted as she looked back over her shoulder. She blinked away a tear and regarded Emma with one of her stunning smiles. “I know.”
Emma quickly took the ice cream to the freezer, the cold tiles biting at her bare feet as she rushed across them. When she returned to the living room, Vanessa was setting out their usualblankets as though it was the most normal thing in the world, and they hadn’t just had a deep conversation. Every day felt like progress.
“This is why I married you, you know…”
Vanessa looked up and frowned. “I’m sorry?”
“You make everything perfect for us. It’s why I married you.”
Vanessa slouched back down on the couch and opened her arms to Emma. “Then get yourself over here and snuggle me.”
Vanessa shifted beneath the covers,humming lightly as the morning sunlight glowed behind the curtains. Emma lay beside her, her mouth slightly parted, one arm flopped over Vanessa’s stomach as though she’d claimed her during the night and refused to let go. Vanessa smiled to herself, but she didn’t move. She couldn’t bring herself to do so. There was something special about mornings with Emma. The quietness of their sanctuary while the world rushed around outside the front door.
Emma wriggled closer, her hand fisting in Vanessa’s night shirt as she groaned. Emma was a morning person when it suited her—when she knew she had to get up for work—but weekends were often lazy and slow. Vanessa wouldn’t have it any other way.
“You’re staring,” Emma murmured, the sexiness of her sleep-filled voice sending a shiver throughout Vanessa.
“I’m admiring. There’s a difference.”
“Compliments before coffee?” Emma cracked one eye open, that mischievous glint present. “That’s bold.”
“I woke up this morning and decided to live dangerously.” Vanessa smirked as she drew a fingertip up Emma’s arm. “And obviously…I’m impressed by the serious bedhead.”
“Oh, thanks.” Emma laughed as she stretched her body out. “Good to know my wild mane is such a turn on.”
