Page 46 of Emma
“What?” Vanessa frowned. “Emma, no. Why would you?—?”
“I panicked,” Emma admitted, her voice breaking. “I don’t want to ruin her life by being around. And I don’t want this job if it means she suffers in any way.”
“You wouldn’t ruin her life.” Vanessa understood Emma’s reluctance to be happy in any way, but she wished her wife wouldn’t think so little of herself in moments like this.
“I’ve spent so long wishing I had family who gave a shit about me, and now she’s here, and I’m…I don’t know what I’m allowed to be.”
Vanessa moved closer, her thigh pressing softly against Emma’s. “You’re allowed to be her sister, Emma. Maybe not right away, and maybe not all at once, but youareher sister. That doesn’t disappear because you’re her teacher.”
Emma rested her head against Vanessa’s shoulder. “Ellie’s going to be at the meeting. She said she wants you there, too.”
Vanessa slipped her hand into Emma’s, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Then I’ll be there. Of course I will.”
“I just—” Emma sat up, sniffling as she gazed back at Vanessa. “I wanted to tell you first, before I got in my own head about it.”
“I’m glad you did.” Vanessa brushed her thumb across Emma’s knuckles. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of you,Emma. The way you’re handling this…you’re being honest and careful. You’re thinking of Freya first.”
Emma’s eyes welled up, and this time, a tear did fall. “Remember how we both said she reminded us of me…” Emma smiled. “Every time I see her, I’m noticing it more.”
“Now that we know, it’s hard not to notice it.” Vanessa squeezed Emma’s hand, desperately wishing she could lean in and kiss her. To take away the uncertainty in her beautiful eyes. “But I do believe there’s a connection there. One that was always meant to exist…even if it came a little later than it should have.”
Emma nodded as she exhaled a deep breath. “I wish I’d known about her sooner. Maybe I could have saved her from…I don’t know. From thinking she was alone.”
Vanessa did lean in this time, briefly kissing the corner of Emma’s mouth. “You can still be that person for her. If they let you in, even a little, you can show her she’s not alone now.”
“Ellie said we’ll all figure it out.”
“She’s right.” Vanessa nodded, making a mental note to thank Ellie Hamilton for her support on this. “And we will. You’ve got people who love you. People who will fight for you, andwithyou, when it counts.”
Emma regarded Vanessa with a small smile. “You always say the right thing.”
“That’s part of the wife contract.” Vanessa shrugged. “Fine print, or something to that effect.”
Emma laughed, and as always, it was music to Vanessa’s ears. She brushed Emma’s hair from her face and gently pulled her into an embrace. Emma melted into her, rested her head beneath Vanessa’s chin, and sighed. “Thanks, babe.”
Vanessa soothed a hand up and down Emma’s back as she whispered, “You’re doing everything right. Remember that.”
Emma nodded, the tension in her shoulders beginning to fade. “And I’ll keep doing everything right. For Freya…for us. For the people that matter to me.”
Vanessa held Emma a little tighter. “You’ve always done the right thing for us, baby. That’s not something you have to worry about. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, and I know when you need space to process, okay?”
“Okay.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Vanessa tuckedher legs beneath herself as she settled deeper into the corner of the couch, a steaming cup of peppermint tea resting on her thigh. The afternoon sun shone through the blinds, warming her, but Vanessa still felt cold inside; she had done for days now. Emma was still at school covering an after-school netball session, but Vanessa was happy about that. It was something to take her wife’s mind off everything going on outside of work. Well, outside of her work commitments, anyway. Even at school, she couldn’t quite escape it all.
Her phone buzzed on the armrest beside her. It was Lauren. Vanessa smiled and answered, setting it to speakerphone and lowering it to the armrest. “Hi, love.”
“You busy, Mum?”
“Not at all.” Vanessa lowered the volume on the TV and sighed. “Just sitting here waiting for Emma to get home…or text me to say she’s got a meeting date.”
Lauren sighed. “Still nothing?”
“Not a word.” Vanessa traced a finger around the rim of her cup. “No confirmation of a meeting, no timeslot, nothing. Just radio silence.”
“It must be driving Emma up the wall.”
