Page 146 of Hidden in Memories
He really does want to live.
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Hanna is gripping her gun so tightly that her hand hurts as she makes her way up the last few stairs.
She is moving in a crouched position with her flashlight switched off. It feels safer—with it on she would be a clear target if Erik has changed his mind.
He is afraid and upset,she tells herself.He isn’t going to hurt me.
She tries to cling to those thoughts as she heads for the bar. One stair creaks when she treads on it, and the sound makes her freeze. It seems unnaturally loud in the silence, revealing exactly where she is.
She dare not move in case Erik is hiding in the gloom. Maybe he is lying in wait for her. Maybe she has misjudged his state of mind.
After all, he is a double murderer.
She waits for quite a while, then sets off again.
The smell of gasoline grows increasingly strong the higher up she goes. She stops when she reaches the top step. She can’t see Erik, but she has a strong feeling that she is no longer alone. She senses the presence of another person in the wide loft stretching out before her.
He is there in the darkness, she is sure of it.
Where is he?
Is he going to attack her?
Suddenly a table lamp is switched on in the far corner. Hanna blinks as the light takes her by surprise—then she sees Erik.
He is sitting waiting for her, his shotgun lying across his knees.
The shock now that he is actually right there in front of her is almost overwhelming. And he is armed.
Is he going to shoot her?
But he looks tired, lost. He seems to have aged ten years since their conversation in the foyer at Copperhill a few days ago.
“Hi,” she says slowly. “How are you doing?”
She hides her own gun behind her back so as not to spook him.
He is slumped in a dark-green leather armchair. His eyes are dull; he doesn’t seem aggressive, just resigned, as if the spark within him has died.
Hanna can see that he is holding something in his hand, something small, rectangular, and yellow.
It looks like a lighter.
The sight makes her stomach turn over.
“Don’t come any closer,” Erik says. “Or I’ll set the place on fire.”
His voice is dull, but there is no doubt that he means what he says. He holds up the object so that she can see more clearly. It is indeed an ordinary cheap cigarette lighter. Then she notices the green plastic containers with the caps off at his feet.
The smell of gasoline fills the entire room.
“Get out of here,” Erik says.
Hanna takes a step forward. “Surely we can talk first?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
