Page 50 of The Vow Thief
She hesitated, then said quietly,“When I met him.”
“Who is 'him'?”
She looked at me as if testing whether I already knew.“Matt Taylor.”
Her voice changed when she said his name. Softer. As if guilt and nostalgia were wrestling for the same breath.
I didn’t write his name down, but I was keen on the fact that I was sitting in the presence of the woman who practically referred two of my other patients.
“What changed when you met Matt?”
She leaned back, eyes unfocused.“He noticed me. Not the version I’m supposed to be, the one with the perfect hair and the last name that opens doors. He saw me like I was something raw. Alive.”
“Being seen felt different,” I added.
“It was like air after holding your breath too long. I would classify it more as being seen differently felt real, even though I… wasn’t.”
“And then?” I pressed.
Her jaw flexed.“Then he remembered he had a wife.”
She smiled bitterly.“Saint Sarah. The perfect one. You know the type.”
“Tell me what perfect means to you.”
“She forgave him,” Lily said.“She kept her house, her family, her image. Everyone loves her for surviving him.”
“And you?”
“I’m the villain. The distraction. The woman who set the match.”
“Do you believe that?” I asked more slowly to give her time to react.
She blinked.“That I’m the villain?”
“Yes.” I nodded.
“I don’t know,” she said.“Sometimes I think I just loved him wrong. Is that a crime now?”
“It depends on what you did with that love.”
She looked away.“I made mistakes. I chased him when I should’ve disappeared. I went to their house. I told myself it was closure. It wasn’t.”
“What was it?”
I tilted my head, but I knew she was talking about the breaking and entering. Matt described it as a type of‘invisible assault.’It’s interesting that Lily saw it as a form of love.
“A dare,” she said.“To see if he’d still choose me.”
“And when he didn’t?”
Her shoulders lifted slightly, then fell.“I broke. I thought if I could just explain, make him understand, it would fix everything. But the world doesn’t care for explanations.”
I let that hang a moment before asking,“And Sarah?”
Lily’s expression shifted, defensive, then something close to admiration.“She didn’t scream... or cry. She just looked at me like I was already gone. Like she’d known all along, I was going to do something stupid. Going after their kids wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Sarah’s look stayed with you,” I said. I’d already learned that the more matter-of-fact you were with Lily, the more you got out of her.
