Page 3 of The Vow Thief
My temper set fire to my composure. My eyes burned and blurred at the same time.
“And what is this‘we’shit?” I snapped.“You think I’m going anywhere with you and Lily? I thought this was over, Matt. Why is she anywhere near a decision like this unless you plan on having your cake and eating her too?”
I watched his jaw work, teeth grinding as he forced the words out. "It is over. I didn’t even see the note. It means nothing."
“It means she’s still in the room, Matt. Still in your orbit. Still whispering in your ear about beaches and romantic charm.”
I wasn’t used to breaking like this. My own voice sounded foreign, almost possessed, as rage and disbelief clawed free.
“Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to find this here, after the day we just had?”
“Sarah, she’s not...”
“Oh, don’t even.” I stepped closer, jabbing the crumpled note against his chest.“If you can’t see how inappropriate it is for her to be commenting on your relocation package, then you’re not as far along in this‘rebuild’as you think you are. Don’t act like you don’t love the attention she gives you, Matt. That’s what guts me. I can’t compete with shiny and new. I’ll never be that again, and we both know it.”
Matt’s hands went up, palms out.“I didn’t ask her to write that. It’s part of her job to manage internal comms. She is Mr. Holloway’s assistant, Sarah. She probably saw the offer as a way to...”
“...to what, use this as an opportunity to send you a little reminder that she still has access to you?” My laugh was short and ugly.“Congrats, Matt. Message received.”
I stared at him, letting the silence between us build until he finally exhaled, running a hand over his face.“I’m not doing this with you tonight. Not after...”
“Not after I let my guard down?” I cut in, glaring at him.“Not after I started to believe you again? That’s convenient.”
Matt didn’t fire back. He stepped in, closing the gap I'd tried to put between us. His voice was low, steady, and almost pleading.
“Sarah… please don’t let her ruin an opportunity like this for us. Yes, us. We are a we, baby. You, the kids, and me.”
My grip on the Post-it tightened. He reached for my free hand. I should have pulled away, but I didn't.
“I would love to take you and the kids to Charleston,” he went on, his eyes locked on mine.“Start a new life. Live near the beach. Take you to concerts and dinner. Eat lobster and crab until we’re sick of it. Make love to you on the sand. Hell, live on the sand. This relocation package isn’t about her. It’s about us.”
I blinked, irritated by the way his words snuck through my defenses.
“I want you to think about it,” he said.“I want this for us. I want you, Sarah. No one else. Just you. And to answer your question, hell no,” he said without hesitation.“She won’t even know whether I accept or not. And, there’s something you don’t know.” He paused to make sure I was listening.“I told Mr. Holloway about what happened. All of it. I had to come clean if I wanted to make a fresh go of this new life and new career. He’s fully aware of the ticking time bomb that is his assistant.”
I almost laughed in disbelief.“You told him?”
Matt nodded once.“I told him because I will not build this job or this life with you on a lie.”
Lost for words, I said nothing. I really wanted to stay angry. Anger was safer. Anger kept a shield around my heart.
But there was something about the way he was looking at me now, steady, clear-eyed, without a trace of defensiveness. Was I overreacting?
“You told Mr. Holloway,” I asked again, testing the words for pitfalls.
His voice stayed even, believable.“Yes, Sarah. I’m not dragging any of that shit with me. He didn’t like it. In fact, there was a moment when I thought he would fire me. I fought for this. For a new life with you.”
The words“with you” sent a flurry of butterflies through my stomach, softening my anger.
It didn't matter; in my mind, I could still hear Lily’s syrupy little fantasy about Charleston, the beaches, the charm. But Matt’s version played over it. Beach concerts, messy seafood dinners, salt on my skin for the best reasons. I yearned for him to be on me, inside me, in love with me. Again.
I set the relocation papers down on the table between us, putting a deliberate inch of wood back into the space he was trying to close.
“I’m tired, Matt,” I managed to say. I'm tired of talking about your fuck up. Of feeling this way."
“Please don't give up on us. Tell me what you need and I will do it, Sarah," he whispered.
There it was again, the thing he did that slinked hope into my doubt. He had a keen ability to weaken my resolve with his words and vulnerability.
