Page 64 of Burning for Alexander
“Will said you blew him off,” Ella snapped at me over breakfast at the Pinecone one morning. “Tell me why.”
“No.” I took another bite of bacon. It was crisp, salty, and perfect in every way.
She opened her mouth, turned to Tommy and his boyfriend, Foster, and then stared back at me. “You have to.”
“Do not,” I said.
Tommy leaned toward me. “Right, but like… just out of curiosity, what’s wrong with the guy?”
Foster nodded as if it was obvious that something had to be.
“Nothing. He’s great.”
The three of them waited for me to say more. I took another bite of French toast instead.
Ella cradled her coffee mug and stared into it as if summoning courage from its depths before looking back up at me. “You have to tell me because of the sibling code.”
I tapped my chin with my index finger. “I declare myself in contempt of the sibling code and sentence myself to… gosh, was it five weeks of isolation from family? That seems harsh, but okay.”
Tommy muttered under his breath, “Mattie’s wedding,” to remind me I was shit out of luck on getting five weeks’ reprieve.
“Fuck,” I said, reaching for a sip of coffee. “Oh well, two weeks will have to suffice.”
Ella smacked my arm. “Be serious. Poor Will is devastated.”
I mock-frowned at her. “Is he? Because I saw his jeep inMonroe’s driveway a week ago. Didn’t seem like the kind of thing someone would do during a mourning phase, but I could be wrong.”
I was secretly glad Kincaid’s driveway was at the end of a dead-end road and hidden by pine trees.
Foster grinned. “There are worse ways to mourn.”
Tommy elbowed him.
“What, baby? Read a sad story and I’ll show you.” Foster chuckled as Tommy tried to elbow him again. He failed because Foster grabbed him and kissed him instead, pulling back and smacking his lips. “Mmm, coffee with my favorite flavoring on it. Marian flavor.”
Ella and I shuddered and groaned. “Make Foster do your five weeks,” Ella said, flicking her hand in his face. “Gross.”
Foster shot me a look after his laughter died down. “I figure you’ve got something going with someone else and that’s why you shot Will down.”
Ella’s face lit up in delight before falling in pity. “Oh honey… is this aboutIndexEcho? Are you having a hard time moving on? Still? I think it’s time for you to call your therapist again.”
I opened my mouth to say no, that I was completely overIndex, when I realized it wasn’t true. Even though I knew he was gone, I still cared about him deeply and worried I’d never have the same kind of emotional and intellectual connection with someone else.
“Maybe so,” I said. Because I didn’t want her trying to set me up with someone else as long as I was still sleeping with Kincaid. And I didn’t want any remaining vestige of my hang-up onIndexto mess with my ability to enter into a new relationship… preferably with the grumpy fire chief, if I could ever get him to consider me as more than a hookup.
The following night, after being greeted at Kincaid’s door by awet fire chief wrapped in only a towel, I fell on my knees in gratitude and expressed it orally and thoroughly.
An hour later, after he’d returned the favor and bundled me up in a blanket on his sofa while he devoured the pizza I’d brought him, I told him about the conversation at the cafe.
“I told my sister I was still hung up on an old flame,” I admitted. “And that’s why I turned down another date with Will.”
He peered at me from the other end of the sofa, where he was holding a paper plate and pizza slice above where my feet were making a home on his lap. “And are you? Still hung up on the guy from your past?”
I hesitated. “Sort of? I fell for him, hard. It’s silly because we didn’t know each other that well, but… we had an amazing connection.”
“What happened to him?”
It was strange talking to Judd about something personal. It seemed like I was breaking the rules, only… I wasn’t quite sure whose rules.
