Page 53 of Burning for Alexander
Believe it or not,Kincaid’s callous reminder that our arrangement was just physical and didn’t mean anything to him was welcome. If there was no chance at feelings—and he’d told me straight up there weren’t—then I needed to stop getting all gooey, let’s-make-dinner-for-the-guy over Judd Kincaid.
I made my way back to the apartment and found Tavo playingGrand Theft Autoon PlayStation. Seeing him laughing and enjoying himself made me feel better about my abrupt departure from Kincaid’s house. I’d vowed to protect Tavo, and that includedwell-meaning inquiries from the fire chief, even if they were just polite small talk.
And I hoped to hell ithadonly been a well-meaning inquiry because if Kincaid had used our closeness this evening to sniff around for information on Tavo for any other reason, I would lose my fucking mind.
“Hey, did you eat?” I asked as I set my keys and wallet on the table next to the door.
Tavo glanced at me over his shoulder before focusing back on the screen. “Yeah, Hot Pockets in the freezer. Some left if you want.”
I stared at the back of his head. “You live above a restaurant with fresh pizza and calzones, and you microwaved that shit? Are you… I can’t decide whether to throw you out right now or simply murder you in your sleep.”
He laughed. “No offense, Alex, but your prices aren’t as great as Beartooth Market’s BOGO deals.”
I moved to the fridge to pull out a pitcher of lemonade and pour myself a glass. “I’ve told you you can have whatever you want from Timber. Just tell them to put it on my tab.”
“And I told you thank you, but I’m only going to take you up on it from time to time. Not every day. Besides, I have money. I can pay for my own food and shit.”
I let it go. He was young, but he was still an adult. And he had a right to his pride, even if I did want to ease his burdens.
When he finished his current game and got up to stretch, I told him about the new barback I’d hired. “Cute kid named Drew,” I said, wondering if Tavo would have any interest in meeting the guy. “He’s new to Legacy. He and his mom moved here to take over his grandmother’s craft shop. You know Dot’s Doodads across the square on Windwalker? That’s Drew’s grandma.”
“Yeah. Dot’s place is great if you have the patience to digthrough stuff. Her grandson came here to help her, but he’s working for you instead?”
“Just nights when the craft store’s closed. But since he doesn’t know anyone and he’s around your age, I’d like you to meet him.”
Tavo shrugged. “Sure.”
“He does leather work. Belts and straps. Bridles and stuff. I thought I’d introduce him to Lennon, too, if he’s looking for anything like that.”
“Wonder if he knows about the farmer’s market. Could try and sell his stuff there.”
I eyed him. “Maybe you could drop by Dot’s tomorrow. Introduce yourself and tell him about the market.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, nodding. It was one of the things I liked about Tavo. His situation with the shitty judge hadn’t destroyed his general confidence and willingness to meet people. I was sure it had done a number on his ability to trust potential romantic partners, but at least he was still able to make friends and live a fairly normal life here in Legacy.
After offering him a glass of lemonade, I sat down at the table and asked him how his day had gone.
“Mr. Peterson paid me to clean his woodshop. I ended up helping him haul some junk to the dump, too. He said I could come back to wash his truck tomorrow, and then his neighbor—Sanders, I think his name is—wants me to come to his place and help him move some furniture around. They’re paying me twenty bucks an hour, so I’ll take as much of that as they’re willing to give.”
While I hated that he couldn’t have more as long as he was trying to lie low from the judge, I was impressed he’d gone out of his way to find paying work. Not that Tavo’s work ethic had ever been in doubt. Even when he was at Marian House, he’d made a point to contribute with hard work.
“Good. But block off a weekday soon so we can take Lennon up on his offer for fly fishing. You can’t spend time in Montana and not learn how to fish.”
After talking for a little while longer, I headed to the bathroom and stripped down to take a shower before bed. The hot water cascaded down my body, relaxing muscles that had been tense since leaving Kincaid’s place.
There’s a world of difference between being with someone to get off and being with someone you care about.
I closed my eyes and let the water pound on my shoulders and back. If Kincaid was right, then what the hell was it like being with someone you cared about? Because our encounter had been fucking incredible. The memory of it made me hard again, which wasn’t difficult these days. Lately, all I had to do was think of Judd Kincaid in his grumpy fire marshal mode, and my dick was on board.
I ached with the need to get close to someone, to have a true partner. Someone who cared about me and whom I could confide in. The pressure to succeed at Timber was immense, not because my family pressured me directly, but because I was very aware they were all watching. And I didn’t want to let them down.
I came from a family full of beautiful, successful people. And it was nearly impossible not to compare myself to everyone else.
But I also came from a family full of beautiful, successfulrelationships. And it was nearly impossible not to want that for myself.
Once I was showered and dressed in a pair of sweats, I slid into bed and video-dialed my dads.
As soon as Papa’s face came on the screen, I felt a familiar twinge of family and love. “My baby,” he said, eyes crinkling with a smile. “You’re damned near impossible to get a hold of these days. How are you?”
