Page 108 of Burning for Alexander
He wouldn’t loosen his death grip around my neck even long enough for me to pull back and kiss him. So I hitched him up until he wrapped his legs around my waist, and then I walked toward my truck. Pope gave me an up-nod of understanding, and I knew she’d taken command of the scene.
I opened the back door of my truck and sat sideways on the seat, propping my boots on the running board. “Baby, are you sure the building is clear? Is there any chance someone’s in there?”
“I can’t think of who. Tavo’s at my grandparents’ for the night. It’s Juni’s son’s birthday, so she’s at home celebrating.” He went through the major players at Timber before shuddering. “Judd, what if they’d all been there? What if we hadn’t been closed?”
I glanced at the building while smoothing a hand over his hair and rubbing his back. “From what I can tell right now, the restaurant itself doesn’t seem to have taken damage. The fire seems to have originated in the farthest corner of your apartment or maybe the attic. At most, the restaurant’s bathrooms and food storage rooms might have smoke damage. If the crew can get the blaze under control, I can get back in there. We’ll assess the damage. Then I can grab your things. Your clothes. Your… your wine key?—”
“Stop! Judd, I don’t care about the wine key. I don’t even care about the building,” he sniffed. “I care about you.”
He finally pulled back so I could see his face. His eyes were red, and tears had soaked his cheeks.
“I love you,” he croaked. “I love you, I love you, I love you. AndI’m so damn sorry. I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. I want to be with you. I want to bewithyou.”
I reached up and cupped his cheeks, swiping the tears away gently with my thumbs.
“Baby. Fuck. I love you, too.” I leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together. “All I could think about when I saw the flames was getting to you and getting you out. You’re my person, Alex. The most important person in the world to me, and nothing is going to change that.”
I kissed him softly before the kiss turned deeper.
The radio squawked from the front seat, letting me know McMasters and Sujo were safely out, and they were opening the lines to attack the blaze.
Alex and I turned to watch.
Sujo aimed his line at the windows in the back room of the apartment while Pope and McMasters swept the stream of water up through the attic vents, pounding the flames until the orange glow dimmed to a darkened gray. Steam rolled out in gusts, hissing like an angry cat, while the crackle of burning lumber dulled to a wet sputter.
Alex leaned his head on my shoulder. He was still able to see his building from his position in my lap, and we watched it together.
The weight of him against me was the most profound relief. One I’d never take for granted. But while I had everything I needed in my arms, I knew he was watching one of his dreams literally go up in smoke.
I pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
He shook his head, then said in a small voice, “What if I did something wrong? What if… what if I left a stove on or had something wired wrong in my apartment, and it’s my fault?”
I kissed the top of his head. “Well, if that’s the case, we’ll learnsome lessons. And one of those lessons will be that nobody’s perfect.”
He lifted his head up and stared at me. “Who the fuck are you right now? Is this a side effect of smoke inhalation? Does it cause personality changes? Where’s my grumpy fire chief?”
I leaned in and kissed him again. “He’s right here. By your side, where he belongs. And I don’t think you did anything wrong, Alex. In fact…” I hesitated, then added, “I think I smelled lighter fluid in there. I don’t want to speculate before we have a chance to investigate, but?—”
“I don’t use lighter fluid,” he said, his eyes wide enough for me to see white all the way around in the dark parking lot. “I swear, Judd.”
“Baby, I know. Remember when this building was inspected after your original renovations a couple of years ago? I wasn’t here, but I went through the inspection notes. At that time, the previous chief noted that the only accelerants on the property were the ones in the restaurant that were known and regulated.”
“I remember making a joke that I didn’t even keep a lighter or matches to light birthday candles upstairs, because if I was going to celebrate, it would be in the restaurant or at my family’s place,” he murmured.
“Mm,” I said. “Or in the back lot with a cake and twenty-something candles.”
He snorted lightly and tucked his head under my chin again to watch the building. “I had to grab a lighter at the checkout counter when I picked up the cake,” he murmured. “I wasn’t about to take my lame-ass birthday cake into the Timber kitchen and have Juni rat me out to my family.”
“It would have ruined your nefarious seduction plans,” I teased softly, keeping my eye on my crew as they went through their process methodically.
Alex’s voice was a whisper. “Judd… will you give me another chance? I promise I’ll try to be braver.”
My heart clenched. “We’ll each give each other another chance. But you’re already plenty brave. I don’t even know what you mean by that.”
His hand came up to fiddle with the collar of my coat. “I thought… I thought if I told myself I hadn’t fallen in love with you, if I didn’tletmyself fall, that I’d be able to keep my heart safe. That I wouldn’t have to l-lose you again.” His fingers threaded into the back of my hair and gripped tight, like he’d try to keep me there by force if I attempted to escape him.
Like that would ever happen.
